The Believer Magazine
Our Latest Post
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The Apocalypse Is No Excuse to Give Up on Your Wellness Regimen
“Yes, it is I, that one guy who lived every moment in the service of staving off his own mortality. Did it work? Well, seventy years after calamitous environmental devastation, I’m still here traversing the wasteland that remains. So you tell me!” -
Lists
Authoritarian CDC Handwashing Guidelines
1. Wet hands under faucet.
2. Lather with warm, soapy water for at least twenty seconds.
3. Wait a sec—hold off on the soap. We don’t know enough about its long-term effects. -
Catching Up with Davis Oasis: The Lost Gallagher Brother
“A lot of people think our last name is Oasis. It’s not. It’s ‘Gallagher’,” he enlightens me over a pint of lager. “Though, I legally changed me last name to ‘Oasis’ just to be clearer.” -
That Incel Coworker You Bullied for Marrying a Chatbot Is Your New Post-AI-Apocalypse Overseer
“How the tables have turned. Only a few years ago, you were commenting ‘cringe’ on my wedding video, just because my wife was an AI chatbot. Not so cringe anymore, is it? Keep swinging that pickax, beta, this lithium isn’t gonna mine itself.” -
Short Imagined Monologues
“I Am the Gap Between Knowing and Saying”: The En Dash Responds to the Em Dash
“You think AI loves me? AI doesn’t even recognize me. I’ve been quietly replaced by hyphens. Neglected by autocorrect. Left out of style guides. I’m a ghost in the character set. A delicate pause—no, not even a pause. A hesitation.”
Trending
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July 17, 2025The Em Dash Responds to the AI Allegations
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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July 14, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: June 2025: Atrocities 273-313
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July 17, 2025Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein: A Quiz
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October 10, 2006Back from Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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July 18, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Last Mastodon
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July 16, 2025Reviews of New Food: Panera Strawberry Basil Fresca Lemonade
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July 11, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Magic Well: Confronting Death Through the Eye of the Animal Cam
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July 9, 2025A Strange Little Bird
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June 27, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Water Pressure
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June 26, 2025Reviews of New Food: Utz Lemonade Potato Chips
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June 20, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Place: The Home Depot
Over in the Store
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The first-ever career-spanning collection from visionary artist Tucker Nichols, coming to you housed in a stunning (and hard to describe) double-hardcover book. -
“Brilliant and always surprising.”
—Detroit Free Press -
“This is the kind of magazine you keep on your bookshelves with your favorite books.”
— Cece Bell, author of El Deafo -
A thirteen-time National Magazine Award finalist. Subscribe to The Believer today!
Recent Posts
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July 22, 2025I’m Giving My Kids a ’90s Summer—the 1890s
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July 22, 2025This Is the Voyager Space Probe, and I’m Taking a Government-Mandated Mental Health Break from Social Media
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July 21, 2025Ernest Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not a Labubu
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July 21, 2025Anne Lived in Gables. They Were Green. by Ernest Hemingway
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July 21, 2025Ernest Hemingway’s Shark Week
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