Funny 50th Birthday Wishes: Sending funny birthday wishes to your dear ones is one of the most effective ways to bring a smile to their faces on their birthdays. But being funny in cards or text messages not so easy. You have to find the right words and know how to use them in funny 50th birthday card messages. Here are some examples of funny and hilarious 50th birthday wishes for someone who is celebrating his/her 50th birthday. Pick the one that suits your taste and send it right away to make a difference, to make your birthday wish stand out among so many of them.
Funny 50th Birthday Wishes
Happy 50th birthday! You're aging like wine. Congratulations!
Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and John Bon Jovi have already turned 50 and now one more superstar has joined the club. Happy 50th birthday!
You're just 35 with 15 bonus years. Wishing you a Happy 50th birthday!
You are halfway to a hundred but that doesn’t guarantee you will live that long. Happy 50th birthday.
You're no longer the oldest person I know in their 40's. Now you're the youngest 50-year-old I know.
Now that you're 50 you've probably got more hair where you don't want it and less hair where you do want it. You can't fight it but at least you can still let your hair down and have fun on your birthday!
If you were a dog, you would be 213 years old. So, don’t feel so bad about your age. At least you’re aging like a human. Happy 50th!
Your 40's are behind you now, so you should have your midlife crisis out of your system. Be proud! You wear it well!
If you can blow up all your birthday balloons, then you will officially earn the right of calling yourself young at fifty. Happy 50th birthday.
Happy birthday and congratulations, you're halfway to a telegram from the Queen. In the meantime, put your feet up and enjoy the rewards from all the hard work you put in during your 20s, 30s and 40s.
Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old.
Every single birthday of yours is a reminder for me that I’m not the oldest person here! Happy 50th, cheers!
It's just about gaining few more grey hairs than me, nothing else to be worried about. Happy 50th birthday!
I hope you already saved enough money for retirement. It's time to count them all. Happy 50th birthday!
Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy Birthday you old fart!
You can't hide your age to others. Your hair is turning gray, and wrinkles appearing. So, tell the truth, is it your 50th, or you're lying.
Funny 50th Birthday Messages
Don’t ever bother spending money on anti-aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion. Happy birthday old-timer.
As you turn 50 you can age as gracefully as you like – flaunt your grays and wrinkles or use modern technology to hide them. Whichever path you choose, it only happens once so do it well and have a wonderful birthday!
You are half a century, or 5 decades, or 50 years, or 600 months, or 2609 weeks, or 18262 days, or 438288 hours, or 26297280 minutes, or 1577836800 minutes old, depending on what unit of measure you are using. Hey, at least I didn't figure it out for seconds. Happy 50th birthday!
As we grow older, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, you’d still understand if I didn’t buy you a gift right? Cheers to you on your special day!
The older you get, the brighter your cake becomes. See? It’s all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing!
Now the rest of your life will depend on whether you have fun by being nifty, or you become bored by being thrifty. The choice is yours. Happy 50th birthday.
Happy 50th birthday! The Romans called it ‘L', we say ‘fifty' and some tribes in the Amazon don't even have a word for numbers that big. In anyone's language, it's a number worth celebrating.
It is never too late to grow up and stop being stupid. Maybe your 50th birthday is your chance to do just that. Happy birthday.
Midlife crisis is a label that is given to fifty year olds to stop them from being the best they can. Forget these labels and enjoy life to the fullest. Happy birthday.
Don’t worry about getting older. You can still go for facelifts to wipe out the wrinkles. Happy birthday!
You’ve got half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.
I would make a joke about how old you’re getting, but I’m worried that if I hurt your feelings I might not get a chance to apologize to you since you are getting so old. Happy 50th!
Happy 50th birthday! In your fifties, you can forget about mortgages, contraception, and school fees. You'll probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you'll have an excuse.
Funny 50th Birthday Quotes
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. – Melanie White
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
Turning 50 means it's only a matter of time before you're regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. – Greg Tamblyn
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule. – Greg Tamblyn
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I'm fifty. I haven’t seen anything. – Eric Satie
Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys. – Melanie White
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. – Wendy Cope
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you? – Melanie White
The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned. – Cindy Crawford
You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now. – Henry Green
I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. – Melanie White
50th Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy 50th birthday!
You’ve been in your thirties so many years. I’m quite unsure about your age this year. Maybe it's the fifty. Happy birthday anyway!
Something special in you always helps you stand out in a crowd. That’s your age!
I believe you’re here since the dawn of time. Dinosaurs have gone extinct, but you are still here. Congratulations to you and happy 50th birthday, of course!
A man never gets older, he can only get wiser. Remember this quote forever, and you’ll never feel sad. Happy birthday!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Her
I’m good with numbers, and your age always fascinates me. I believe you’ve been here since the beginning of this universe!
I always get my inspiration from you. You’re such a strong and courageous woman. I don’t think anyone else survived the dinosaurs except you!
Today you have achieved a milestone. A 50-year older woman 50th birthday to my favorite old and not so wise lady!
Growing older and growing wiser are two different cases. And I don’t blame you for that. Happy birthday my sweetheart!
I hope to celebrate your 50th birthday for many more years to come. Here’s a happy birthday from me for year one!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Mom
For me, your birthday is like a national holiday. Whatever I do and wherever I maybe, I’ll always find ways to wish you happy birthday!
Dear Mom, I hope you know how hard it is to find you a birthday gift every year because you have too many birthdays! Just kidding. Happy 50th birthday to you!
Don’t ever let dad say you are getting old. You’re still as youthful and gorgeous as you were in your thirties. Happy 50th birthday, mom!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Dad
I wonder what your friends would gift you on your birthdays when you were my age? Ancient papyrus greeting cards?
I know it hurts to see people enjoying the fact that you are getting older and greyer. But you are not getting younger anyway. Happy 50th birthday, dad!
Today, so many people will bring gifts for you. But since it's difficult for you to keep all the gifts, I’m thinking of helping you by keeping them all.
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Wife
I prayed to God to make you older and wiser. Only the first one came true. Happy birthday my love. Wishing God bless you with the second one as soon as possible.
I know it's hard to enjoy being old when you are old. But, hey, it’s okay if you ask me. I had just passed the same line a few years ago. Happy 50th birthday!
From now on, you can enjoy all your senior citizen discounts, just like me. Happy 50th birthday and best wishes to you!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Husband
Today is the day you can pretend to be young even though you’re not. Happy 50th birthday, my love.
Half of our budget for celebrating your birthday went to buying candles. Try getting younger or stop getting more birthdays!
I’ve known you for so many years, and I must admit that you are much older today than you were when we first met. Happy 50th birthday, dear!
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head. – Melanie White
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was in 1978, but the time machine was booked. – Jean Sorensen
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me. – Janet Periat
Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to. – Melanie White
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. – Sir Norman Wisdom
My 50th birthday wish: that I had as much silver in my safe as I have in my hair. – Melanie White
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven.
In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match. – East of Sweden
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments. – Melanie White
When I turn 50, instead of lying about my age and putting it back 10 years, I'll put it forward 10 years so I can freely talk about my bowel movements. – Thrill Tweeter
Now that I’m 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony. – Greg Tamblyn
Now that I’m 50, people try to be polite, and instead of calling me old, they say I’m mature. Obviously they don’t know me very well. – Melanie White
Birthdays are the most joyful occasion anyone can ever have. It’s a great occasion to bring a smile to the daces of your loved ones by sending some hilariously funny wishes. You don’t always have to possess great humor to be funny. You just have to know the right words and combine them in your sentences to make a wish full of great humor. Our collection of funny 50th birthday wishes will surely help you make your loved one laugh on their 50th birthday. Don’t miss any opportunity to make them laugh and realize how special they are to you and how important it is to bring a big smile to their faces.
Birthdays are joyful occasions! They mark dates in which special people came into this world. The best people that one can be associated with are the ones who appreciate funny things in life. Being able to laugh about situations, even the fact that one is getting older, is a good thing! It is the sign of someone who knows how to handle different occurrences and has a great sense of humor! Of course, teasing should always be handled with care, because you wouldn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings, let alone on their birthday…
To celebrate the special people you associate with who know not to take life too seriously, one must send them messages that are funny. Located here are messages you can send to friends, women, and men that are humorous and commemorate their special days in the light-hearted ways that suit their personalities.
• Funny Birthday Messages for Friends
• Funny Birthday Messages for a Woman
• Funny Happy Birthday Quotes for a Man
• Q&A Birthday Jokes
• You Know You’re Old when…
• Hilarious Birthday Messages for all
Funny Birthday Messages for Friends
• When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred!
• Today, my friend, you have made me grateful for something…that I’m not the oldest person here!
• Friend, on this day of the year, many, many years ago, you were born! I guess that’s something!
• Happy Birthday to someone who is getting more valuable and better with age! Oh wait–that’s wine. Happy Birthday to someone who is just getting old!
• Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! It will match your age!
• If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Happy Birthday, buddy!
• Happy Birthday, friend! You were educated in the old ways! The pyramids wouldn’t have been built without you!
• Happy Birthday to a friend who is unforgettable! Mainly because you are the grayest one here!
• Today friend, you should be glad! You can paint on canvas and not in a cave!
• On this date friend, you might ache a little more. That is because you are old!
• Remembering you today, friend, is easy! The sheer number of your years is astounding!
• Friend, don’t mind me, but ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same: calling you young would be a mistake! A HUGE mistake!
• Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents!
• As your friend, I am here to remind you of significant things! Like ‘always save money for retirement’!
• Friend, some people are obsessed with age! Like me! I can’t believe how old you are!
• Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time!
• Friend, you really exemplify a phrase, for me! Long in the tooth, comes to mind!
• Now is the time to tell you what you truly are, friend! An old geezer!
• Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young!
• Happy Birthday, friend! You are as old as you are dear to me!
• Dear friend, I know you know who I am, but I hope you get tons of wishes from all those other vain people on social media who call themselves your ‘friends’, too.
• I was going to send your gift in the mail, but the mail service said I weighed too much, so here I am.
• Hey bestie, I know you are sad about your age this year, but no worries- I’m here to blow out your candles for you so you can feel like a real kid again!
• We have stuck by each other through thick and thin. We’ve been there for each other all these years and we’re still two girls who are better together than apart. That says something, don’t you think? Stay fabulous, babe.
• Wait, you are how old? Oh jeez, that’s almost dead in doggy years. I’m so glad we met when we’re kids. Happy birthday, bestie.
Funny Birthday Messages for a Woman
• May your hair dye and mascara never run! Happy Birthday, old lady!
• Cheers to a woman who has been thirty… fifty times!
• Happy Birthday to an ancient woman! Someday, you will tell me what it was like to build Stonehenge!
• When you were born, the sun shone… for the very first time!
• Happy Birthday to the woman who has it all! One hundred years of accumulation would result in that!
• I love you, girl, and I’m wishing you the best today. However, if you ever blackmail me for any reason, remember I still have those graduation photos of you.
• Looking at you fills me with hope! A woman can live to be a hundred!
• Mirror, mirror, on the wall, pay attention to the question and watch out what you are going to say about this glorious woman’s birthday!
• Girl, you look amazingly young for your age, but remember we went to school together. Best wishes!
• Cheers to a woman who has dyed her hair so many times, she doesn’t remember what its original color is!
• Here is to all the years that you have been alive, and the cake budget we cut down, just because candles cost a lot! Happy Birthday, woman!
• There is something that makes you stand out, woman! I know what it is: your age!
• Today, girl, there are things to marvel at! Like the length of time that you have been here!
• You are a woman whose very presence makes others happy! Thanks for reminding us that we’re not as old as you!
• Happy Birthday, woman! Sometimes, I feel like you have been around, forever! (That’s because you have!)
• Looking at you, woman, reminds me of a simpler time. Like, before there was electricity!
• Cheers to a woman who stays young! (Only because she lies about her age) Best wishes!
Funny Happy Birthday Quotes for a Man
• Cheers to an old man who still thinks he is young! Call it “experience” and enjoy your birthday, anyway!
• Here is to another year of a receding hairline and holding in that gut!
• Since the dawn of time, you have been here! Today, is no different!
• Your beard may be gray, your wrinkles may be deep, but hey, at least there is cake!
• A man like you deserves to have fond memories of his childhood, recalled to him. Unfortunately, there are no more dinosaurs!
• Happy Birthday to a man who has witnessed great things! Invention of the wheel, the first cave drawing…
• Today, you have officially gotten past things! Like youth and hair that isn’t gray! Happy Birthday, man!
• Today, reflect on the fact that you have been here from the beginning! I mean, the very beginning! Happy Birthday, man!
• On this day, some people will tell you that you are still a young man. Those people are liars!
• Man, you are like a tree in the woods! Old and still managing to stay grounded!
• Today is a day to ask important questions! Like, ‘who is your dentist’ and ‘do you get your beard dyed’?
• Cheers to a man who thinks he is still thinks he is young, but isn’t! You have really embraced delusion!
• As your birthday approaches, you might dread becoming an old man. Don’t worry about that! You already are!
• Today, you have really achieved something! How does it feel to be the oldest man alive?
• If someone doesn’t acknowledge your age, then that person is not really looking at you! Happy Birthday, man!
• Someday, you will tell me how you survived the dinosaurs! Happy Birthday, man!
Q&A Birthday Jokes
Q: Do you by any chance know what constantly goes up, but never ever comes down?
A: Your ever-growing age!
Q: What does the average cat love to eat at her birthday party?
A: Mice cream.
Q: What do Jesus Christ and Abraham Lincoln both have in common?
A: They were both born on public holidays.
Q: What do people who have the most birthdays have in common?
A: Old age.
Q: Why did couples have problems with each other before the 2000s?
Q: What do chickens love to eat at their birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!
Q: Where can you find the best birthday present for your cat?
A: Inside a cat-alogue!
Q: What type of cake was served at the birthday party of Penny from the Big Bang Theory?
A: Cheese cake.
Q: What gift do you always receive on your birthday?
A: A brand new age.
You Know You’re Old when…
• You know you’re old when… the numerous candles on your birthday cake not only become more expensive than your cake itself, but also negatively impact the environment.
• You know you’re old when… kids feel safe to tell you their secrets because they know you will end up forgetting them.
• You know you’re old when… a teenager refers to you as a middle-aged man/woman.
• You know you’re old when… your mates start having children on purpose and not accidentally.
• You know you’re old when… people assume the first pet you ever owned was a dinosaur.
You know you’re old when people assume the first pet you ever owned was a dinosaur. Happy Birthday.• You know you’re old when… your favorite songs are now elevator music.
• You know you’re old when… you see a smoking hot girl in bikini and the first thought that crosses your mind is, “I hope she’s wearing sun block”.
• You know you’re old when… all your favorite sportsmen and women have retired.
• You know you’re old when… it takes forever to scroll down to choose your year of birth on a website.
• You know you’re old when… the candles on your cake create a bonfire.
• You know you’re old when… your mates start running for president and other public offices.
• You know you’re old when… the once adorable Karate Kid is now an old man.
• You know you’re old when… you start feeling sleepy at the same time you used to go out at night to have fun.
• You know you’re old when… your fridge consists of more food than beer.
• You know you’re old when… teenagers start mistaking you for the legendary Keith Richards.
• You know you’re old when… that adorable kid you used to baby sit is no longer a kid.
• You know you’re old when… a Donna Summer song brings back a lot of memories.
• You know you’re old when… prefer eating in than eating out.
• You know you’re old when… you fall down and die when someone tells you to act your age.
• You know you’re old when… you feel there’s nothing left in life to learn.
• You know you’re old when… in your childhood, Blackberry and Apple were nothing more than fruits.
• You know you’re old when… you start worrying about how you’ll pay your mortgage.
• You know you’re old when… acne problems are a thing of the past.
• You know you’re old when… birthdays remind you something to be forgotten.
• You know you’re old when… you lie about your age or are tempted to do so.
• You know you’re old when… your patronage of condoms begins to drastically decline.
• You know you’re old when… you start finding teenagers’ birthday parties annoying and repulsive.
• You know you’re old when… your loved ones keep telling you how young you look.
• You know you’re old when… hostage takers are not interested in taking you hostage.
• You know you’re old when… your friends pay firefighters to be on standby for your birthday bash because they are afraid your birthday candles might cause a disaster.
• You know you’re old when… you search everywhere for your reading glasses when it is on your head.
• You know you’re old when… if you have ever attended a Beatles concert.
• You know you’re old when… marketers start targeting you with anti-aging wrinkle creams.
• You know you’re old when… you can date someone half your age without breaking any man-made laws.
• You know you’re old when… your neighbors don’t even know it when you organize a party.
• You know you’re old when… your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them or have died.
• You know you’re old when… you finally know where your prostate is located.
• You know you’re old when… you once used telegraphs to send messages to your loved ones in faraway places.
Hilarious Birthday Messages for all
• Many happy returns! I believe you are officially able to be appraised on Antique Roadshow!
• Happy Birthday to you. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I’ll enjoy eating free cake and ice cream.
• Your birthday only comes once a year but the wrinkles it brings will last a lifetime.
• If you were a dog…you’d be 7 times older than you are now! Think about it. Happy Birthday, Old Yeller!
• That’s your birthday cake?! I thought we were having a bonfire in the middle of your dining room. Happy Birthday… should I call and cancel the fire department then?
• Happy Birthday from one of the most spectacular, sensational, wisest people you know. You are one-in-a-million.
• My best wishes! I hope your husband treats you to a night out on the town–so you can enjoy having the house to yourself!
• Happy Birthday to someone who knows everything there is about me and STILL enjoys being my friend. I hope we have many more years of wild and crazy adventures together.
• Did you know Chuck Norris was born on your birthday? Just kidding. That would be pretty kick butt though, wouldn’t it? Your birthday is still on a pretty good day.
• Wishing you the best! I would say you don’t look another year older, but if I tell one lie now, it might make anything else I say later on unbelievable. You look pretty good for your age!
• If you were a grape, I would stomp on you and make you into a delicious vintage wine. Happy Birthday, Friend!
• The best part of birthday is the birthday cake. Wishing you the best. Where’s the cake?
• Happy Birthday to a friend who I wouldn’t trade for all the Nutella in the world.
• I couldn’t fit Channing Tatum in the box but I hope this gift will do. Happy Birthday to the future Mrs. Channing Tatum.
• So I was watching Jurassic Park and I remembered it was your birthday. Happy Birthday, you old dinosaur!
• I was watching Grumpier Old Men and I remembered it was your birthday. I hope we get put in the same room at our future nursing home. We would make some kick butt BINGO partners! We would clean up!
• I have a particular set of skills. Skills that I have learned over a lengthy friendship with you. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give me a piece of cake, I will leave. If you don’t, I will find your cake and I will blow out your candles.
• I’ll tell you a secret. I do believe it’s somebody’s birthday and just in case that person is you, Happy Birthday.
• Happy Birthday to someone who remembers how to do the ‘Macarena’.
• Stop crying. This is supposed to be a joyous occasion where we fill up on divine birthday cake and drink good cheer. Celebrate in merriment the day of your birth into this lustrous world. Forget the wrinkles, sore joints, forgetfulness, and gray hair. Happiest of Happy Birthday to you, dear friend!
• If someone asks if you’re a God, you say ‘YES!’ . If you don’t Mr. Stay Puft will wreck havoc on our town. That was life lesson #1, right? Happy Birthday to a friend who is fluent in movie quotes just like me.
• Happy Birthday to someone good looking, super smart, charismatic, and charming. Wait…I meant FROM someone.
• Best wishes. You’re not THAT old. You’re just getting up there. In the words of Elsa, “Let it go! Let it go!”
• Your 21st Birthday party was SO successful you decided to celebrate it for more than 20 years in a row!
• I was thinking about it and I think if someone was to make a movie about your life, Linda Blair would be perfect to play you.
• You know that old sang the older you are the wiser you are? I used to think it was true but then I met you! Just kidding, friend. Happy Birthday to you.
• I was at the antique store downtown and I ran across one of the toys from your childhood that you always talk about. Happy Birthday and Congratulations to someone who is old enough to have their childhood toys listed in the latest edition of the Kovel’s Antique Guide! Well done!
• When you get to be your age you really should just throw caution to the wind and go “Why the hell not?!”. You are only young once! Go skydiving! Go skinny dipping in Tahiti! Go for a leisurely stroll up Mt. Everest.
• Of all the people celebrating their birthday today, you are the least likely to be called “young” by a door-to-door salesman. Enjoy your day!
• Just to let you know that getting older doesn’t necessarily mean you have to grow up. You can always be a ‘Toys R’ Us’ kid who wears scrunchy socks, jelly shoes, and drives a Big Wheel.
• Happy Birthday to someone I am proud to say will ALWAYS be older than me. I love having you as my friend, even if it is only to make myself feel better about my age.
• I know you’re not thirty, flirty, and thriving but hey you’re still driving! You’re not in too bad of shape.