Retirement is a solemn affair that should always be treated with the utmost sensitivity.
Just kidding! Retirement can bring out mixed emotions, but in general, it's a joyous milestone in a person's life. After decades of clocking in and operating according to someone else's schedule, the lucky retiree finally gets to call the shots – and that's an occasion worth celebrating.
It's also an occasion that calls for some levity. If you know someone who's retiring – whether it's a friend or coworker – one of the best ways to send them off is with a joke. To help you come up with the right words, here's a list of funny retirement wishes that will leave them laughing when they go.
For a Friend
To start, here are some funny retirement messages you can send to friends.
• Uh oh. Someone's about to have too much free time on [his/her] hands.
• You can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you can put new tires on an old car. That's what you're doing: re-tiring.
• When “I'm too old for this shit” becomes your daily mantra, you know it's time to retire. Hope you enjoy all the adventures you have ahead of you.
• Can you say Senior Discount? Hope you enjoy all the perks of retirement.
• Now your only job is having fun – and I know you're a real pro at that.
• Retirement doesn't make you an old fart, but it does mean you no longer give a shit.
• Now is the time to throw professionalism out the window once and for all.
• Enjoy your permanent weekend.
• Prepare yourself for years of hearing: “You look too young to be retired!”
• Now it's time to stop fawning over your boss and start fawning over your grandkids.
• AARP: The sound you make when you realize that getting showered and dressed in the morning is now optional.
For a Colleague
Here are some hilarious messages for a retiring coworker.
• Without you around, I'll never be able to stay awake for status meetings.
• Your retirement will leave an empty space in our hearts, not to mention the break room fridge.
• Your retirement brings out a lot of emotions in me, but I'd have to say envy is the biggest one.
• This place won't be the same without you. In case you're wondering, that's a compliment.
• You might want to change your number. Once management realizes everything you did here, they'll be begging you to come back.
• I'm losing you as a coworker, but I better be keeping you as a lunch buddy.
• Please take me with you!
For a Boss
Finally, here are some funny retirement wishes for a boss.
• Now that you're retiring, I can tell you how I really feel about you. And how I really feel is, you're awesome. Best wishes!
• Looks like the inmates will be running the asylum now.
• Do you think you could give me a raise on your way out the door? 🙂
On a more serious note, retirement is also a time of goodbyes. If you're looking for a more heartfelt sentiment to mark the occasion, consider one of these famous farewell quotes.
• Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your employment positions. If in doubt, traditional is always tasteful.
• If you know the person well enough, a nod to a favorite color or pet or hobby bumps up the personal vibe of your greeting.
• A line of congratulations from you takes only a minute to add and makes your message memorable.
Before this retiree gets busy with golf or gardening or grandchildren, celebrate their life accomplishments and the rewards that follow. One more voice does more than raise the volume. It warms the heart. Add yours.
RETIREMENT WISHES
RETIREMENT QUOTES
Retirement Wishes
• Enjoy your retirement! Now the fun begins! All the best to you, Ed!
• Retirement congratulations! It’s time to follow dreams long set aside and enjoy the rewards of work done well. Wishing you the best, Martin!
• Woo hoo! Kick up your heels and enjoy your retirement, Alex!
• Happy Retirement Day! Happy every day of your Retirement, Carol!
• Happy Retirement! Enough with your daily job. Now it's time for your life's work! Congratulations, Tom!
• Happy Retirement, Terry! Who knows what new adventures lie ahead? Here’s to happy endings for them all!
• Congratulations! Enjoy your retirement, Bob! All the best to you always.
• Best wishes as you retire, Susan. You’re such a gifted, creative person, your retirement won’t be dull for a minute! Congratulations!
• Happy Retirement! Congratulations on this new phase of your life, Steve. May all your hopes and plans come true!
• Congratulations! You got your life back! Enjoy every minute, Jim!
• Congratulations! It’s a very good year to retire, Pat!
• You’re free as a bird! You've earned your wings! Enjoy your retirement, Mary!
• Finish Line! Here’s to your success and new adventures! Congratulations on your retirement, Sharon!
• Congratulations, Mary, on your well-deserved retirement!
• CONGRATULATIONS! Happy Retirement, Carey!
• Happy Retirement! It’s time to kick back and enjoy. You’ve earned it! Wishing you luck in all that you do, Sam.
• Retirement ahead! Looks like friendly seas from here on out, Charles! Enjoy the adventure!
• Well Done. How satisfying to retire with so many successes to remember! Congratulations, Barb!
• Congrats! Enjoy your retirement, Joy! You’ve made a difference here.
• Sincere Congratulations! Your success has been fueled by your intelligence and energy, and you’ve earned our greatest respect. Best wishes in your retirement, Robin!
Retirement Quotes
Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. Experience achieves more with less energy and time.
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
Retirement's the most wonderful thing. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up…
The key to retirement is to find joy in the little things.
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
To some of us, retirement gives us time to follow our dreams.
I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.
The fruit of your own hard work is the sweetest.
The joy of retirement comes in those everyday pursuits that embrace the joy of life…
Retirement may be an ending, a closing, but it is also a new beginning.
Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.
It’s time to celebrate all the hard work that led to this joyful occasion.
You might be on the back nine of life, but it’s good to finish strong.
You might retire from a job, but never retire from making contributions. Indeed, life is about contribution, not accumulation.
Retire from work, but not from life.
Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to great places. You're off and away!
Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials – much to live on and much to live for.
…to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.
The biggest reward for a thing well done is to have done it.
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
Funny Retirement Messages for Friends and Family
Go beyond words of congratulations for retirement when a close friend or family member retires. This is a chance for you to poke fun at loved ones as they enter a new life stage:
• Time to find out just how much you can get done without ever putting on your pants!
• Welcome to retirement, Dad. We’re starting a support group for Mom.
• Now you’ve finally earned that senior discount, you slacker.
• You’ve been practicing retirement for years. Now you’re ready for the real thing!
• No one’s busier than a retired person with a “honey-do” list!
• Congratulations on your retirement! Time to start giving out advice, even though you never follow anyone else’s.
• You’re retired! You might have expected some free time, but your calendar is already booked with babysitting our kids!
• You’ve been working on it for years, and now you’ve earned a new title: Grumpy Old Man (or Woman)!
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30 Retirement Quotes
Updated January 25, 2022
Retirement is not just a case of not setting an alarm anymore to go to work. It's a major life-changing decision. That's why it's often celebrated and marked by friends and family as a special occasion.
Retirement parties and gifts are common ways for people to recognize retirement. A special card with heartfelt words is also a gift that can be greatly treasured.
If you're looking for some words of inspiration beyond “congratulations”, take a look at these well-known retirement quotes to add to your card or gift. You can choose something serious or something more comical.
• “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons
• “There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Waterson, Calvin & Hobbes
• “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
• “It is better to live rich than to die rich.” – Samuel Johnson
• “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
• “Something pretty…that's just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don't worry about it.” – Jeanne Moreau
• “A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.” – Ella Harris
• “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” – Vince Lombardi
• “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” – Mark Twain
• “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” – Sophia Loren
• “You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” – George Bernard Shaw
• “Living each day as if it were your last doesn't mean your last day of retirement on a remote island. It means to live fully, authentically and spontaneously with nothing being held back.” – Jack Canfield
• “Retirement's the most wonderful thing. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. After an extraordinary life, it's time to enjoy my retirement.” – Patrick Macnee
• “I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.” – Dick Van Dyke
• “We work all our lives so we can retire – so we can do what we want with our time – and the way we define or spend our time defines who we are and what we value.” – Bruce Linton, Fatherhood: The Journey from Man to Dad
• “The joy of retirement comes in those everyday pursuits that embrace the joy of life; to experience daily the freedom to invest one's life-long knowledge for the betterment of others; and, to allocate time to pursuits that only received, in years of working, a fleeting moment.” – Byron Pulsifer
• “A thriving new beginning can be and should be a time for amazing engagement, growth, connections, contributions, and amazing possibilities.” – Lee M. Brower
• “As your life changes, it takes time to recalibrate, to find your values again. You might also find that retirement is the time when you stretch out and find your potential.” – Sid Miramontes, Retirement: Your New Beginning
• “Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it and how you want to do it,” – Catherine Pulsifer
• “For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things.” – John Sharp Williams
• “Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work.” – Clarence Darrow
• “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontague
• “Retire from work, but not from life.” – M.K. Soni
• “Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I'm home — forever.” – Gene Perret
• “Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else.” – Fred Rogers
• “Don't act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J. A. West
These retirement quotes make a great addition to any card or gift you're planning to give. The next time you're at a loss for words, borrow one of these quotes for your favorite retiree.
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Written By
Jeff Hoyt
Editor in Chief
Since graduating from Harvard with an honors degree in Statistics, Jeff has been creating content in print, online, and on television. Much of his work has been dedicated to informing seniors on how to live better lives. As Editor-in-Chief of the personal… Learn More About Jeff Hoyt
Congratulate the Retiree
Take a moment to congratulate the retiree on everything they’ve achieved so far. Let them know you think they’ve had an impressive career, made an amazing contribution to their industry, and really changed their workplace for the better.
You can also use this as an opportunity to compliment them on their achievements, approach, or manner. If a coworker or boss is retiring, you could thank them for the way they’ve helped you with your own career, or note how they’ve been a truly great mentor. If a family member is retiring, compliment them on their long and successful career and how proud you feel.В
Look Back on Fond (or Funny) Memories
Retirement is a time of reflection for many, with the retiree looking back at their career and achievements. Follow suit by using your congratulations message to reflect on fond or funny memories you share with them.В
You could bring up the time when they had a fantastic fundraising idea and raised money for a local cause, or when they supported you through a tough time. If you know their sense of humor, you could look back on a funny memory — like when they spilled coffee on their shirt right before a meeting, or embarrassed themselves in front of a customer.В
Wish Them Well for the Future
Just as one chapter of their life is closing, another is beginning. Your beloved retiree is heading into a different way of life and it’s time to wish them well.
If you know what the retiree is looking forward to or doing next, you can personalize your message. Congratulate them on starting a business and wish them well for the future, or say that you hope they have a wonderful adventure spending more time with their family. If you’re not sure what they have planned, you can keep it simple and wish them all the best.В
How to Say “Congratulations on Your Retirement!”
Design: Signature Greenvelope
Simple Retirement MessagesВ
It’s time to send those well wishes to the happy retiree. To keep things simple, consider these wording ideas:В
• Happy retirement, [Name]! You’ve earned it.
• Congrats on your retirement! Enjoy this new chapter.
• Wishing you good health for the future.
• Sending happy retirement wishes your way, [Name]!
• Have a wonderful retirement, [Name]!
• Wishing you a happy and healthy retirement — have fun!В
Congratulations Messages to Your Boss
If your boss is retiring, you may want to express how they played a special role in your career and how it’ll be tough for someone to fill their shoes. Here are a few simple ways to congratulate a boss and wish them well for the future:
• Best wishes for the future, [Name]. You’ll always be the boss. Thank you for everything!В
• Good luck with the next chapter of your life, [Name]. You’ll be missed by us all.
• Can’t believe you’re leaving to become your own boss! As someone who knows, you’ll be great at it.В
• Best of luck with your new journey, [Name]. It’s been a pleasure having you as my boss.
Retirement Wishes for a Coworker
It’s hard to say goodbye to a coworker you’ve really enjoyed working with. To help ease the pain, here are some lovely words you can share with them in a retirement card:
• Thanks so much for all your hard work at [Company], [Name]! I couldn’t have gotten through it without you.
• Have fun on all your new adventures. We’ll miss you so much!В
• It won’t be the same without you here, [Name]. Best wishes for the new chapter of your life.
• [Name], you’re one of the hardest workers I know. Enjoy your retirement in comfort — you deserve it!В
Retirement Congratulations to a Family Member or Good Friend
You don’t have to work with the retiree to send them a congratulations card. Sometimes you’ll want to send one to a loved one or close friend who’s retiring. Here are some wording ideas to help share the joy:
• Have the best retirement ever, [Name]! We can’t wait to see more of you.В
• Congratulations on your retirement, [relation] — there’s nobody who deserves it more.В
• So glad it’s retirement time, Grandpa/Grandma! All of us grandkids are excited to spend more time with you.В
• Happy retirement, [Name]! Hope you enjoy all the free time — we’ll stop by for afternoon tea soon.В
• Congrats on your retirement, [relation]. Now you have all the time in the world to pursue [hobby].
Funny Retirement Congratulations Messages
If you’re on good terms and know they’ll enjoy it, have a little fun with your “congratulations on your retirement” message. Here are some light, fun wording ideas to sprinkle some laughter into the proceedings:
Retirement Gift Ideas
Design: Signature Greenvelope
Sometimes you’ll want to send a thoughtful gift alongside your well wishes. Perhaps you’ll join forces with others to send a group gift, or send a sweet individual gift to congratulate the retiree on their achievements. Whatever you choose, here are some retirement gift ideas they’re sure to love.В
Thoughtful Personalized GiftsВ
You could get a beautiful watch engraved with their name and a sweet message, or you could give the gift of personalized jewelry, stationery, or housewares instead. Another popular option is to create a gift trophy or medal for the retiree to commemorate their work.В
Hobby Gifts
Often people have more time to enjoy their hobbies once they retire, so this is the perfect opportunity to give them something special that relates to their interests.В
Popular choices here include accessories for sports like golf, walking, or tennis. You could also give craft supplies if the retiree loves to make things, or an e-reader or tablet if they enjoy curling up with a good book.В
Gift Card
If you’re not sure what to give as a gift or you want your friend or coworker to have freedom of choice, a gift card is always a lovely retirement gift option.В
Say “Congratulations on Your Retirement” in Style
Your retiree friend or coworker is about to step into a new phase of their life — one with more freedom and time to pursue the things they love. We hope this guide has helped you put your joy for them into words, so you can congratulate them on a job well done and celebrate all they’ve achieved.