Here you will find the funniest and most hilarious birthday messages. Give your friends and loved ones a memorable experience on their birthdays and put a smile on their faces on the most important day of the year. Sending a greeting to a good friend shouldnât be a matter of routine, and it shouldnât be boring. Good friends know what makes you laugh, and what will not strike you as funny.
The Ultimate List of Funny Birthday Messages
The Funniest Birthday Cards
The Most Hilarious Birthday Messages
More Birthday Wishes
The Ultimate List of Funny Birthday Messages
⢠For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth, but they were sold out of cave art and dinosaur bones.
⢠A lighter? Weâre going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles.
⢠If I have to tie you up and swing a light over your head until you talk, I will. Eventually, youâll spill the location of that Fountain of Youth youâve found!
⢠Actually, I wanted to get you something super special, super terrific, unique and beautiful for your birthday, but I donât fit into the envelope.
⢠To my friend on his birthday: I want you to know that Iâve always looked up to you. Yes, youâre taller than me, but Iâve always admired your style and impeccable grooming. By the way, time to trim that nose hair.
⢠Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
⢠One of the things I learned growing up with you, is that if you have a dream, you should always chase it. I mean, you still can run in your age right? Nevertheless, happy birthday!
⢠Having you around always made me feel like we will be forever young, yet, you ended up breaking that rule, you grumpy old geezer!
⢠I really hope you brushed your teeth this morning! Because with your age, Iâm not sure your teeth will survive until next year.
⢠If you believe in it, you can be anything! Unless you want to be young again, then Iâm afraid you missed that train old pal!
⢠Just to be sure, Iâm going to bring a few buckets full with water tonight before you light up the candles, donât want to be homeless on your birthday due to an accidental fire! Happy birthday my friend!
⢠Instead of being sad because you grew up, be happy because you will not be the grumpy old geezer you will become in 10 years! Happy birthday!
⢠So, I always wanted to learn about dinosaurs. Could you share your knowledge with me? I mean, you have probably met them in person! Just kidding, happy birthday you fossil!
⢠They say that at your age, birthday cocktails should be replaced with nutritional smoothies. Thank goodness we never listen to what they say.
⢠Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
⢠I donât know how you do it. You donât look a year older than 185! Happy Birthday to the best friend, ever!
⢠Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you donât mind, it doesnât matter.
⢠Happy Birthday on your amazing day, I hope that you donât die before you eat your cake. Youâre another year older and another year wiser. So put your brain to work and figure out there isnât no gift for you.
⢠Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life said, Kitty Collins. Be glad youâre doing it gracefully.
⢠Donât think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
⢠(written in real small text). Youâre not old until you canât read this writing anymore.
⢠Youâre older. Youâre wiser. Youâre sophisticated. Youâre far too mature to be concerned with material things like presents.
⢠Celebration time: Happy birthday, you old bag!
⢠I have trouble wrapping my head around these birthdays we continue to have. I have trouble wrapping my head around lots of things. Like, why do the most biscuit-headed guys come in the best wrapping?
⢠Happy Birthday to my Bestie. Rhyming makes me testy. Iâll try to make it jesty. Donât get mad if itâs pesky, but have a zesty day! Hey, I tried.
⢠Weâre best friends, so there are certain things I know about you. Youâre humble and lavish gifts embarrass you. So,(only to make you comfortable, of course) Iâve limited my birthday wishes to this simple, heartfelt card. Your welcome.
⢠On your birthday, letâs solidify our friendship commitment and the bond we share. We always have each otherâs back, right? (I hope so. Youâve got WAY too much "on" me!)
⢠Happy birthday to a loyal friend who looks as cool as he did in high school. You can still rock that tie-dye, AND youâve hung on to our friendship and your mullet, whether weâre popular or not.
⢠Come on, donât be like this. You have survived this year. Although youâre older, trust me itâs better than the alternative.
⢠Congratulations on your birthday! Remember Today, no sex! Because you need all your energy to blow out the candles!
⢠Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
⢠Itâs your birthday, and I must say, you indeed take the cake! And the ice cream. And all the rest of the snacks. Slow down and save some for the rest of us!
⢠Donât feel uncomfortable about your age. We will all one day get as old as you are.
⢠Donât forget to wear your birthday suitâŚ.but check it for wrinkles first!
⢠Donât forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
⢠An old fart is as good as a new oneâŚ
⢠Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow weâll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.
⢠Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
⢠Forget about the past, you canât change it, forget about the future, you canât predict it, forget about the present, I didnât get you one!
⢠Forget your past, itâs already done. Forget your present, too; because I forgot.
⢠Iâm throwing you an existentialist themed birthday party. If youâre in the woods, and a tree falls on your birthday, and thereâs no one there to see it, are you still a year older? Iâll stay out of the woods just in case.
⢠Why do old guys start growing hair from their ears? On this birthday, I figured you could answer from personal knowledge. While youâre at it, either pull up those dark socks or change from shorts into pants â as a public service.
⢠Friends may come and go, but birthdays just accumulate.
⢠George Carlin said that. Donât ask me what it means. You wanted something unique for your birthday, you got it.
⢠Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And thatâs what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
Whether you write or find a card that reflects your friendâs personality, itâs great to include some good humor too. Some people are sensitive about age, but if your friend isnât then a few funny birthday messages about this topic are typical on this special day. One sentiment often expressed in funny terms is "You arenât becoming older, youâre becoming a classic." Old sayings such as "A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age" is a fun remark as is "Youâre so old today when you look at your birth certificate itâs expired". Another is "Remember to count your blessings and not your wrinkles." These usually get a smile from those comfortable with turning a year older. A sweeter funny thought is "You arenât really forty, youâre just eighteen with twenty-two years of experience. Check out this large collection of funny birthday wishes and sayings and make your choice.
The Funniest Birthday Cards
The Most Hilarious Birthday Messages
⢠Happy birthday to a man who is really younger than he looks.
⢠Have fun as much as you can, but not too much, because you are at a vulnerable age.
⢠Happy birthday to a person who is smart, good looking, and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.
⢠Have you ever try to get yourself in a fridge and see what happens? Itâs ok you can light up all your candles now? We all have a glass of water in our hands.
⢠Happy birthday to you. You live in a zoo. You look like a monkey. And you smell like one too
⢠Hmm ⌠I do not know why, but I had a strong urge to send you a text message! But why? I know! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
⢠Happy Birthday! Itâs about time you start acting like your real age.
⢠Hoping that you can find all the strength and courage needed⌠to blow all of the candles out.
⢠Happy Birthday! The inevitable came a year closer.
⢠Hoping you dance the night away or at least watch other people dance late into the night, or at least stay awakeâŚ
⢠Happy Birthday! You look beautiful for a person who is by one year closer to death.
⢠I didnât forget your birthday. I just forgot todayâs date!
⢠Happy Birthday! Youâre one year closer to your death day.
⢠I figured out, whatâs the most challenging thing to do. I think itâs the counting of your wrinkles. Finding one is impossible.
⢠Happy Birthday, but whatâs your secret; a time machine or something.
⢠I think weâre going to need a bigger cake to fit all your candles.
⢠Happy Birthday, youâre not getting older youâre just a little closer to death.
⢠I wanted to give you something unique, grand and loving on your birthday! But I just did not fit on the screen!
⢠Happy Birthday. I promise I wonât tell how old you really are!
⢠I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday, but nothing came to mind.
⢠I wish you all the best, for another 100 years here on earth!
⢠Iâm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
⢠Iâm just here for the cake.
⢠Iâm not going to make any age-related jokes, because, in fact, I feel a little pity about how old you are.
⢠If someone comes up with the idea to call you old: then hit him with your stick and throw him your teeth! Happy Birthday!
⢠If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
⢠Iâll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.
⢠You must have one of the best plastic surgeons. There is no other explanation.
⢠You recognize the fact that youâre getting older when the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
⢠You think you are old? Youâre not old⌠you were old last year, this year youâre ancient.
⢠You think youâre something special because itâs your birthday today? Youâre something special every day!
⢠You would have loved the gift I didnât bother getting you.
⢠Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar. Yung No Mo
⢠Youâre not 40, youâre eighteen with 22 years of experience!
⢠Youâre so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired
⢠Youâre a hard person to shop for, so I didnât get you anything. Happy birthday.
⢠Youâre not forty; youâre eighteen with twenty-two years of experience.
⢠Youâre not getting older. Youâre just a little closer to dying! Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation.
Browse through our unique collection of wishes and famous quotes.
Find the best messages and cards for every occasion.
Each year everyone has that one special day that's all about us. Let's be honest; birthdays are truly complicated. Some people are excited to plan a birthday party, get gifts, and dance all night. Others feel depressed because they're a year older and much closer to the end. Therefore, making the birthday boy or girl laugh that day is essential. Yes, there is nothing better than funny birthday wishes.
There are all kinds of ways to send birthday wishes. For instance, the old-school way is to send a birthday card. There's also the modern-day version, birthday e-cards. Regardless, make sure it's a funny birthday message. It's vital to make a person laugh on their special day.
A wonderful birthday message is sweet and kind, but everyone needs to laugh the older they get. A simple happy birthday wish can turn the day into a great birthday. Funny birthday wishes are perfect because they make the person feel special and laugh. So, bust out the cake, grab a candle, and send that funny birthday wish.
Funny Birthday Wishes for Friends
Social media makes it possible to send anyone a message around the world. It's now possible to send a funny birthday wish to a best friend across the globe or down the street. There is nothing better than a happy birthday message from a best friend. Sometimes, friends have the time to buy the perfect birthday present and birthday card. Of course, not all friends have that kind of time.
Still, one of these simple messages will make up for not buying your best friend a gift. These messages can work on social media, text messages, birthday cards, or birthday e-cards. In fact, some of these funny messages would even fit on a birthday cake.
1. Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you drunk on your birthday. Good thing for you, I'm the second kind.
2. It's your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother's womb. So, that's pretty cool.
3. Technically, you're not 50. You're only $49.95, plus tax!
4. Older? Definitely. Wiser? âŚmmm debatable. Happy birthday!
5. Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years⌠wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
6. Happy birthday! I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one, naked and screaming.
7. Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass!
8. I spent three hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you, and then I gave up. Happy birthday.
9. For your special day, I've sent you a truly gracious present. It's a ghost hug! You can't feel it, but it is definitely there! Happy birthday!
10. The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the internet.
11. Happy birthday to a real friend of mine. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished!
12. Just imagine all the things you'd want to hear on your birthday⌠and assume I wrote them here!
13. To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner, so I could have annoyed you longer. Happy birthday!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Co-Workers
Often employees work long hours for a mean boss and get very little pay. It can sometimes be tough to go through the work day. Of course, having good work friends will make the day much easier.
A work colleague is a special kind of friend. It's a friendship that comes together because of circumstance. Co-workers are often in desperate need of a laugh. The perfect funny message will turn a long work day into a fantastic birthday.
14. Whoops, I didn't get you a present. Being my office buddy should be the only birthday present that you need â it even lasts all year!
15. Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!
16. Work makes us colleagues. Our inappropriate conversations make us friends. Happy birthday!
17. You are one year wiser, which is lucky, as I forgot the password again⌠Happy birthday, work buddy.
18. They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a whole bunch of salt and bonus points if it accompanies a very large margarita. Make yours a double. Happy birthday!
19. It sucks to have to work on your birthday â but at least you get to spend it with me this year! Happy birthday.
20. Happy birthday! I'm really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.
21. You're the reason why I never get tired of work. But you may be the reason I get fired for talking too much! Happy birthday.
22. It's so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!
23. Happy birthday! Where's the cake?
Funny Happy Birthday Wishes for a Belated Birthday
Life gets so hectic sometimes that it's easy to forget a friend or loved one's birthday. However, one way to save the day is with a funny belated birthday wish. Indeed, funny birthday wishes are ideal for belated birthdays. It might be a little late, but at least it's funny. Honestly, it probably won't make up for forgetting and not buying a gift, but they might laugh.
24. Happy birthday! Don't think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here's wishing you a wonderful year ahead!
25. I hope you're not feeling deflated that I'm a little belated. Happy (late) birthday!
26. I'm so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn't think you would live this long. Happy birthday!
27. You'll never guess what I just rememberedâŚHappy belated birthday (from the world's most forgetful friend)!
28. I promise this card isn't late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day because I think you deserve a whole birth month. Happy birth-month!
29. I know you think this card is a few days late. It's actually worse than that. This is your card from 2022 that I only just got around to sending. Happy belated birthday!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Her
There are all kinds of stereotypes revolving around women and their birthdays. The truth is nobody wants to get old. We all want to stay young forever. There's nothing more important than making women feel special on their birthdays.
It's essential to make them feel like the queen of their special day. They deserve the best birthday party, cake, and a funny birthday wish. Of course, funny birthday wishes will leave the birthday girl full of smiles and happy memories.
30. Happy birthday to a woman who never ceases to amaze me. Some days your brilliance knows no bounds. Other days you can't find your keys because you put them in the fridge. You're unbelievable!
31. The secret to staying young is makeup⌠make up an age, then stick with it!
32. A friend like you is like a good bra, supportive, hard to find, and always getting on my last nerve. But hey, can't live without 'em. Happy birthday!
33. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
34. A quick reminder on your special day⌠well-behaved women rarely make history. So, this year, let's go even crazier! Happy birthday!
35. You suck at aging! Can you at least try to look older?
36. It's your party, and you'll cry if you want to; however, I don't recommend it. You'll ruin your makeup, and we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight. Happy birthday!
37. Wow, another year under your belt. Just let me know how old we're telling people you are now. Happy birthday!
38. We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile⌠and then we'll be new friends!
39. Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can't wait until we're old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!
40. Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!
41. You're the youngest [insert age] year old I know.
42. I'm one boob, you're the other boob, and together⌠we're breast friends! Happy birthday!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
There's a stereotype that women hate getting older. That might be true, but men hate it just as much. So make those grumpy dads, moody boyfriends, and silly sons laugh on their special day. It's cheaper than buying them a present. The perfect birthday greeting can make or break a birthday and every dad, husband, and son loves a funny birthday wish.
43. Another year together has come and gone. Whatever would I do without you? Not open jars, that's for sure. Happy birthday, man!
44. Happy birthday, Dad! When I grow up, I want to be just like you⌠but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
45. How to fart like a man: 1) pass the gas. 2) pass the blame. You got this, bro! Happy birthday!
46. If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.
47. On your birthday, you might be thinking, âOh man, I'm getting old,â but don't worry. Just because you're old doesn't mean you won't still be doing dumb stuff. You'll just be doing it slower. Happy birthday!
48. What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I'll never part with it!
49. It's your birthday! You know what that means? One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids, âget off my lawn!â Everyone loves that guy!
50. Happy birthday! Don't forget to iron that birthday suit.
51. Happy birthday! It's a big one! (That's what she said.)
52. Happy birthday! For your special day, I made you a cake. BOOM, YOU'RE A CAKE! You're so very welcome.
53. I would have made you a funny card, but I know at your age, bladder control can be a problem⌠Happy birthday!
54. Happy birthday, Dude! Congrats on getting a year closer to a senior citizen discount at the movies. Not to mention the best parking spots at the grocery store.
Funny Birthday Messages and Jokes
Here are some funny birthday wishes and hilarious birthday jokes. Indeed, these funny birthday messages are for everyone. They'll make mom, dad, brother, sister, and friends laugh. Of course, no birthday is complete without a cake, birthday party, and gifts. However, it all means nothing without a funny birthday wish to brighten up their day.
55. What's something you get for your birthday every year, aside from cake and presents? Another year older.
56. How does NASA organize a birthday party? They planet.
57. What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like? I scream cake.
58. I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
59. You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, âI may as well pee while I'm here.â
60. What's the best way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once.
61. What happens when no one shows up to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
62. Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!
63. It's your birthday, you know what that means. Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Good times.
64. Fun fact: Having a good birthday is 90% mental and 10% alcohol. Start the pouring, and happy birthday!
65. You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
66. Here's wishing you the happiest birthday with all of my butt! (Why would I say âwith all my heartâ when my butt is definitely bigger.)
67. Smart, good-looking, and funny! But enough about me. Happy birthday!
68. Pst, don't grow up! It's a trap. Happy birthday!