For Dads and Dad Figures
Dad and dad figures make a huge impact on our lives. When its his birthday, you want him to feel special and know how much his presence has meant to you. In addition to sentimental wording, consider weaving in some dad jokes if you enjoy laughing together.В
Here are some fun and sweet birthday messages for the father figure in your life:
• All of my childhood memories are filled with your beaming smile and belly laughs. I really did end up with the best Dad in the whole world. Hope your day includes a nice cold stout, beautiful weather on the boat, and a great big fish.
• I hope you have the most wonderful birthday, Pop! You made each of mine so special and I cant wait to spend today celebrating you. Thanks for making the world a brighter place.
• Youre not just any dad, youre the coolest dad. Out there enjoying the best of retirement, dining on pizzas in Italy, and cruising in a Mini Cooper in England. I hope you have the best birthday ever! I know this year will bring the best adventures yet. Sending you lots of love on your special day.
• You just keep getting older! That's alright, youre still a young rockstar in my eyes. Keep on keeping on and have the best birthday ever.
• Dad, youve always been my biggest supporter. From holding my hand as a tiny tot to never missing a game, youve made each day of my life memorable. Wishing you a happy birthday and all the best for the next year. Ill always be your number one fan!
• Wishing a very happy birthday to my favorite father. After all, youre the only one Ive got! But seriously, I hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks for always being by my side and making everything easier.
• What type of music scares birthday balloons and you? Pop! Dont worry, we didnt put any modern music on your birthday playlist. Heres to a fun birthday party for an oldie but goodie. Love you, Dad.
• The best gift Ive ever had was getting to call you Dad. I hope you have a beautiful birthday!
For Significant Others
A loving message is always nice for that special partner, but you can still be funny and clever. Make your message personal by highlighting some of your favorite moments or activities together.В
Here are a few happy birthday wishes for him:
• Wishing a beautiful birthday to the most beautiful soul I know. You light up each day with your humor and magnetism. My life is sweeter thanks to you. Have a blessed birthday!
• Happy birthday to my soulmate! You make each and every day of my life so magical. Thanks for picking me up when Im down, supporting me through lifes challenges, and just being the best human being. I hope your birthday is as wonderful as you are.В
• Wishing the happiest of birthdays to the love of my life. Each day with you is a joy and I cant wait for more years of happiness and adventures.
• The best boyfriend on the planet deserves the best birthday party he could dream of. I hope youre enjoying your surprise birthday party, surrounded by all your favorite people. You light up our lives and we wanted to make you feel like a king on your special day. Now, lets keep celebrating!
• Dear Boyfriend, I hope you have a fantastic birthday. You are a wonderful man who makes a valuable impact on the lives of those around you. From the day I met you to every day weve spent together since, youve brought me so much joy and laughter. Cheers to another trip around the sun!
• Happy birthday to my Prince Charming! Ive been on cloud nine ever since you swept me off my feet. Youre my favorite person on the planet and I hope you have the best day ever!
For a Best Friend or Family Member
Happy birthday wishes for him arent just for dads and significant others. You can also send birthday wishes to best friends and relatives, from cousins and nephews to brothers, grandparents, and uncles.
Here are some fun and sentimental birthday wishes for a friend or family member:
• I hope you relish your birthday, just like your favorite jar of pickles. Enjoy your birthday celebration and dont forget that your favorite cousin got you the best present.
• May God grant you good health, happiness, and prosperity in the years ahead. Have a happy birthday. Enjoy your special day!
• Wishing the happiest birthday to my best man. Thanks for backing me up in the bar, joining my coed softball league, and offering the best career advice around. I couldnt ask for a better friend.
• Instead of a birthday present, we got our favorite hunter a birthday pheasant! We hope you have the best birthday and an even better year.
• Its your bday! That means its time to party. Cant wait to celebrate with you on the big birthday trip to Cancun this year. Its sure to be a great time and we promise to bring you back in one piece.В
• To my little brother, I hope you have a wonderful day. Ill try not to torment you too much. Plus, I finally got you a present that wont embarrass you in front of your friends. Here's to many more years of being silly together.
For a Colleague or Employee
Here are some birthday greetings for a professional acquaintance:
• I couldnt ask for a better cubicle neighbor. I hope you have a great day celebrating your birthday. Lets grab drinks later this week if youre free!
• Work can be a drag sometimes but you make every day bearable. Please dont ever quit and leave me here alone. Have a happy birthday!
• Best wishes to one of our company's biggest assets. We hope you have a great birthday and a prosperous year.
• Happy birthday, Paul! Our company wouldnt survive without you. Were so lucky to have you on board.
Wish Him a Happy Birthday with Fun Birthday Cards
Now that you know what to say, you need a greeting card. Greenvelope has hundreds of designs you can customize to send birthday messages for someones special day. Here are some of our favorite digital birthday cards you can customize for him.
HBD Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
Wish a special person a happy birthday with this colorful card. Its appropriate for friends, family, and coworkers thanks to the simple (yet vibrant) design.В
Birthday Cheers Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
For the man who loves beer, this cheerful card is a perfect choice. It features two large mugs of beer and a bold birthday message thats great for Dad, a relative, or your best friend.
Super Radical Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
This radical card is perfect for a cousin, nephew, or friend with youthful energy. It offers funky vibes and theres plenty of room on the back for a longer birthday message.
Getting Older Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
Happy Paint Speckles Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
This formal yet fun birthday card is ideal for sharing happy birthday wishes for him, be it your grandpa, uncle, or coworker. It features gold foil splatter paint and you can make it your own by changing the message and color palette.
Sweet Snapshot Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
This sweet card is a beautiful way to wish a boyfriend or loved one a happy birthday. Upload your favorite photo of you and the birthday boy to bring back memories and a smile to his face.
Trendy Type Card
Design: Signature Greenvelope
This trendy card invites the birthday honoree to eat birthday cake and celebrate in style. Insert a photo of the birthday man and write a few sweet wishes on the front or back of the card.
Make the Birthday Boy Feel Special
With these happy birthday wishes for him, you can strike the right tone to share your sentiments. From lovers and friends to coworkers and family members, theres something for everyone.В
Funniest 80th Birthday Jokes
80th birthday jokes that’ll make you giggle like a baby. Turning 80 is something to joke about, so here’s some hilarious stuff to help you hit the high notes. Heck, the jokes and humorous quotes on this page might even make you laugh your "years" off. Cheers!
80th Birthday Jokes: One Liners
Jack turns 80 today. Now he can spend his days eating, snoozing, and searching for the stuff he had just a few minutes ago.
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the f-word?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell BINGO!
Statistical studies prove that at the age of 80, there are four females for every male.
Hell of a time for a guy to get odds like that.
Turning 80 and thinking about what tattoo to get? You might want to consider your name and address...
By the time my mom turned 80 she was leaving little post-it notes to herself all over the house, and wondering who they were from.
80th Birthday Jokes:
More One LinersI got an iPad for my 80 birthday. It’s the large print version of an iTouch.
At 80 years old your bones get softer, but your arteries get harder, so it balances out.
Turning 80 means your favorite romantic song is probably now a laxative commercial.
You new theme song is "I've Got Boobs In Low Places."
80 years old is when you tell somebody, "I must be losing my memory" and they say, "I know, you told me yesterday."
Birthday Tip: When you go to the Health and Safety class at the Senior Center, and they ask you what steps you would take in the event of a fire, "Really Big Ones" is the wrong answer.
By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
- Bill Vaughan
80th Birthday Jokes:
"Doctor's Orders"An 80 year old man goes to the doctor with his wife.
After the exam, the physician pulls the wife aside, and says, "I'm afraid your husband has an advanced stress disorder. He’ll die very soon unless you do exactly as I tell you:
• Always be sweet and pleasant.
• Each morning, fix his favorite breakfast.
• Prepare delicious, healthy meals and snacks.
• Encourage him to nap whenever he wants.
• Don't let him do any chores.
• Under no circumstances nag him about anything.
• Give him regular massages.
• Make love at least twice a week.
Keep this up for a year, and he'll return to a state of near-perfect health for his age."
Later in the car, the husband asks his wife what the doctor told her.
She replies, "Honey, he said you’re going to die soon."
The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party...
At Eighty:
You wear your pants so high that you’ve cut holes in the crotch to see through.
You know everything, but nobody asks you.
You still read the print edition of the newspaper, and what you like best is "Forty Years Ago Today..."
You tell your great grandkids that when you were their age, going to the movies cost less than a pack of gum today.
You no longer chew gum because of what it does to your dentures.
You’ve always wanted to shoot your age at golf, but you always shoot your weight.
You’re becoming very fond of barbershop quartet music.
It doesn’t matter where your spouse goes, just as long as he/she can find their way back.
You feel certain your anti-wrinkle lotions really work.
You’re not elderly, you’re "chronologically gifted."
80th Birthday Jokes:
"Visiting Grandma"
A young man's grandmother was turning 80 and had moved into a new condo. He wanted to drop by, see her new place, and wish her happy birthday.
He called her and she instructed him as follows:
"Park in front of the building and come to the main door. You'll see a big panel on the right. With your elbow, push button 115. I'll hit the buzzer and I'll let you in. Walk inside and turn right for the elevator. Get in, and with your elbow press number 115. Walk out of the elevator and turn left. Come down the hall to 115 and ring my doorbell with your elbow."
"Grandmother," he says. "That's easy enough, but why the heck am I pushing all these buttons with my elbow?"
"What?" she replies. "You're coming empty handed?"
80th Birthday Jokes:
Humorous Quotes
Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
- Franklin Pierce Adams
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
- Joe E. Lewis
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not, but I am getting old, and soon I shall remember only the latter.
- Mark Twain
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
- Robert Orben
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
- Phyllis Diller
80th Birthday Jokes:
"Sand Traps"
A woman turned 80 years old. She was an avid golfer, so she decided to move to Florida and join a country club.
On her first day at her new club, she was told that there wasn't anybody else available for a game just then.
Seeing her disappointment, and wanting to make her feel welcome, the female assistant pro offered to play with her, and asked her how many strokes she wanted for a bet.
The older woman said, "I don't think I need any strokes, I've been playing great lately. I just have a heck of a time getting out of sand traps."
True to her word, the 80 year old played beautifully. When they came to the par four 18th, she and the pro were all even.
The pro hit a gorgeous tee shot, knocked her next one on the green, and two-putted for par. The older lady hit a great drive, but her second shot landed in a steep-sided bunker next to the green.
Playing from the sand, she lofted a high, soft shot. It came down a few feet from the cup and rolled in for a birdie, winning her the match and all the money.
The 80 year old was still standing in the trap when the pro walked over and said, "Beautiful shot! I thought you said you had a problem getting out of traps?"
"I really do," the 80 year old replied. "Would you mind giving me a hand?"
More jokes like this? Try these:
Or back:
Head Lafologist
Greg Tamblyn, N.C.W.
(No Credentials Whatsoever)
The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party...
The game where EVERYBODY
gets to be funny!
In person or online.
JokeQuote LAFology!
Get the funniest new jokes & quotes every month!
"I didn’t graduate with honors. I was honored just to graduate." Graduation jokes, because your life is way too important to be taken seriously.
"Graduation: a ritual where they award you a diploma, in hopes that you have learned enough to be able to read it." Funny graduation sayings to keep you in the humor zone.
"A diploma is basically a subliminal ticket to the alumni fundraiser." Funny graduation quotes to help you graduate with Humor!
Clean funny senior citizen jokes for senior folks who can take a joke and make a joke. Help yourself to these free clean jokes for a free inner workout.
Clean funny jokes, guilt-free, sanitized for your protection, no need for confession. Great jokes about everything, so clean you can tell 'em to Grandma.
Squeaky clean Christmas jokes that slide down your chimney with a big bag of laughter. Fill your stockings with all the funny stuff that'll fit.
"I’ve been married 14 years and I have three kids. Obviously I breed well in captivity." Funny Mother Quotes for fun-loving moms and all fans of the maternal colonel.
"When blondes have more fun, do they know it?" Clean blonde jokes for all would-be blondes, and every real blonde with a sense of humor.
"I didn't really say everything I said," according to Yogi. Whether he said 'em or not, these Yogi Berra quotes are classic, clever, and funny.
These Christmas party jokes games will amplify your amusement and guarantee big laughs. Wordplay, free clean jokes, goofy games, great hilarity, big fun.
While some kids’ birthday party traditions are temporarily sidelined by the pandemic, other traditions can help take up the slack: family freeze tag, kid-song singalongs, and an abundance of dad humor, with its relentless optimism and awe-inspiring resilience. No matter how hard the
dad joke falls, it gets right back up again, more cringe-inducing and confident than ever before. Since your audience will likely be smaller than usual this year — and made up entirely of people who’ve heard your birthday jokes for kids a few times — you could probably use some new material. So before you embark on the next cringe-worthy stand-up session, plan ahead with these birthday jokes for kids. They run the gamut from silly knock-knocks jokes to ice-cold ice cream puns. But all these kids’ jokes have one thing in common: They’ll make your kids laugh, and laugh really hard. So channel Michael Epps at the dining room table. Aspire to be Kevin Hart in your living room with these funny birthday jokes. As long as there’s family, cake, crafts, and plenty of ill-timed jokes that make the entire room groan, it’s a birthday party your kid will love.
• Knock, knock! Who’s there? Omar. Omar who? Omar gosh, it’s your birthday!
• What did the ice-cream say to the grumpy birthday cake? "What’s eating you?"
• What did the cheese say to his friend on his birthday? "Hope you have a gouda birthday!"
• What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
• Why did the little girl get soap for her birthday? It was a soap-rise party!
• What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
• When I was born, I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
• What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? "Aye matey."
• Why does the mushroom always get a birthday party invite? He’s a fun-guy!
• What did one candle say to the other? "Don’t birthdays burn you up?"
• What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake? "No thanks, I’m stuffed."
• What do you sing to a cow on their birthday? Happy birthday to moo!
• What did the crab do on his birthday? He shell-ebrated!
• What is it that kangaroos don’t like about birthdays? They only get to celebrate them in leap years.
• What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer? I scream cake.
• Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."
• Why were there balloons in the bathroom? There was a birthday potty!
• Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!
• Why can’t kids remember past birthdays? Because they are too focused on the present.
• What kind of birthday cake does Elsa like? The kind with lots of frosting and icing!
• What did the elephant want for his birthday? A trunk full of gifts.
• How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish the moment.
• Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? A cat-alogue.
• How does the cat celebrate its birthday? It turns up the mewsic.
• What do you always get on your birthday? Another year older.
• Did you hear about the birthday candle sale? It was a big blowout.
• What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.
• What kind of music do birthday balloons find scary? Pop music.
• Why do leprechauns prefer dollar bills to cakes on their birthdays? Because they’re green.
• Why does no one wish owls a happy birthday? Because they don’t give a hoot!
• Did you hear about the tree’s birthday party? Things got pretty sappy!
• Why are birthdays good for your health? Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays actually live longer.
• How come you didn’t get me a birthday present? You did say I should surprise you, right?
• What’s the best thing to say to a cheese-lover on their birthday? "Hap-brie birthday!"
• Why didn’t cavemen send birthday cards? The amount of postage needed to mail rocks got too expensive.
• How do you know when you’re getting too old? When the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
• What did the ocean say to the birthday boy? Nothing, it just waved.
• What do you get when you eat an entire birthday cake? A stomach ache.
• What did the basketball player do before blowing out his birthday cake? He made a swish.
• What do computers want for their birthdays? An upgrade.
• How does a tea bag wish its friend a happy birthday? "Happy birthday best-tea!"
• What did one pea say to the other on its birthday? "Hap-pea birthday."
• What's the fanciest kind of birthday party you can throw for a dog? A ball.
• What do you get a hunter as a birthday present? A birthday pheasant.
• Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock? It was a marble cake.
• Why couldn't the pony sing happy birthday? She was feeling a little hoarse.
• What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!