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Las Vegas Puns
Puns about Las Vegas
Funny Las Vegas Quotes
Funny Vegas Quotes about Gambling
Funny Quotes About Las Vegas Gambling
Famous Las Vegas Quotes
Famous Quotes for Vegas
Sayings About Vegas
Fun Quotes on Vegas
Hoover Dam Captions
That’s the Top Las Vegas Sayings Quotes
Planning a Trip to Las Vegas?
Las Vegas Puns
Las Vegas is no desert Mirage.
Going, going, gondola!
Come on baby light my Valley of Fire.
Whatever floats your gondola.
I saw the neon sign and it opened up my eyes.
Beauty and the Bellagio.
Puns about Las Vegas
Keep calm and play poker.
Texas Fold-em
I’m in no hurry to leave. Let’s Mandalay our departure for a day or two.
The magnificent Seven Magic Mountains.
She’ll be coming around the fountain.
The Skyfall’s the limit.
The spouse always wins.
May the flop be with you.
Funny Las Vegas Quotes
“Vegas is the answer no matter the question.”
“Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can’t flush.” —Brin-Jonathan Butler
“Las Vegas is a resort whose two chief sources of income are seven and eleven.” —Evan Esar
“The people who say New York never sleeps must have never visited Las Vegas.” – Michelle Madow
“In Vegas, it’s not pre-drinking, it’s brunch.”
“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…along with my dignity.”
“Las Vegas is like being inside of trashy-fun snow globe.” – Linette Lopez
“The view from the window, particularly if you enjoy neon, is extraordinary.” – Chris Bachelder
Funny Vegas Quotes about Gambling
“Because if you’re not winning, then what are you doing?”
“Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks – it says, GOODBYE.” – Frank Sinatra
“Life is more fun with games.”
“If you aim to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune, go there with a large one.” —Unknown
“It is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!” – James Hauenstein
“Gambling isn’t fun; winning is fun.” – Steven Brust
Funny Quotes About Las Vegas Gambling
“I don’t gamble, if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.” – Robert A. Heinlein
“Going to Vegas and not gambling is like going to a restaurant and not eating.”
“Life’s a game and men the gamblers. They’ll stake their whole pile on the one chance in a thousand. Take away that one chance, and – they won’t play.” – Jack London
“Life is like a poker game; it’s not what you’re given – it’s how you use it.”
“Go rich, come home richer.”
“For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.” – Hunter S. Thompson
Famous Las Vegas Quotes
“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”
“Viva Las Vegas”
“Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls go to Vegas.”
“Las Vegas – my favorite desert mirage.” – Val Saintsbury
“Las Vegas, Nevada: A city where oddities don’t make you lame, But instead bring you riches and fortune and fame.” – Walter Wykes
“Las Vegas is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.” —Tom Wolfe
“Goodbye reality, hello Vegas.”
“City of lights, smiles, and memories.”
“Shiniest place on Earth.”
“Keep calm and go to Vegas.”
“The sky’s the limit.”
“The shiniest mirage.”
“Meanwhile, in Vegas…”
“Vegas isn’t a City, it’s its own magical world.”
“Ready. Set. Vegas.”
“Las Vegas state of mind.”
“I apologize in advance for my behavior in Vegas.”
“Desert rose.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can go to Vegas and that’s kind of the same thing.”
Famous Quotes for Vegas
“Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.” —Concha Buika
“Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.” —Artie Lange
“Las Vegas is a 24-hour city. It never stops. “ – Eli Roth
“Las Vegas is a city built on hopes, dreams and a little bit of crazy.” –Michael Mcdonald
“It’s hard to imagine a bigger desert oasis than Las Vegas.” – Cinnamon Stomberger
“If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.” – Tony Curtis
Sayings About Vegas
“A little bit of this town goes a very long way.” – Hunter S. Thompson
“While I was busy hating Vegas, and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.” – J. R. Moehringer
“Vegas is everything that’s right with America.” – Drew Carey
“Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.” – Don Rickles
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…but that doesn’t matter when you live there.” – Michelle Madow
“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” —Jonathan Clements
“Las Vegas is a feast or famine kind of city.” – Kevin Raiford
Fun Quotes on Vegas
“Everyone was going to lose their money at some point. You may as well do so half drunk and at the mercy of a pretty smile.” – Christopher Byford
“And the desert shall reclaim, it’s wealth!” – Danikelii
“Vegas embodies every brash, joyous cliché about the U.S. that the rest of the world hopes might be true.” -Mark Ellwood
“Las Vegas makes Reno seem like your friendly neighborhood grocery store.” -Hunter S. Thompson
“There’s really only one constant in Las Vegas and that’s change.” -Travis Hoium
“Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine heaven must look at night.” – Chuck Palahniuk, in “Invisible Monsters”
“What happens in Vegas, I’m telling everyone.” – Dane Cook
Hoover Dam Captions
Hoover Dam, I’m glad to be in Nevada!
A dam great day!
Where’s the dam snack bar?
That’s the Top Las Vegas Sayings Quotes
That’s the end of my bumper list, so I hope you’ve managed to find the perfect Vegas quote
I’d love to know which one is your favorite, and if I’ve missed any awesome quotes about Vegas
Planning a Trip to Las Vegas?
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If you're close to the bride or groom and know them to have a good sense of humour, then a funny wedding card message may be the perfect antidote to the usual boring and cliche'd sayings that they will be receiving from everyone else.
Coming up with something witty and clever, or using an in-joke that you've had with the couple for a long time can make your card stand out from the crowd and show you've taken the time to think of something more meaningful than the usual wedding wishes.
Putting a smile on the newly wed couples face or giving them a laugh can be extremely rewarding, and using some of the funny wedding card messages we've provided below, either directly or as a basis for your own message, will help to make the day extra special.
Warning! If you're unsure if something funny or amusing is suitable for the couple you're sending your card to, don't risk it. The last thing you want is them reacting badly or thinking it inappropriate.
Funny Wedding Wishes
All weddings are happy. It's living together afterwards that's difficult!
Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss!
Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you'll fall forever.
Marriage doesn't mean you own the person (just all their stuff).
Keep calm and don't do it!
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
You will have moments when you really love each other, then there will be the rest of the time.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognised by the police.
They say that marriage is a great institution.
And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it.
Some people marry for love.
Some people marry for money.
Some people just like getting gravy boats and other useless pieces of china.
Before you got married, you were madly in love with each other. Now you will'be be mad at each other as well.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
Some future advice for the Groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it… once!
Marriage is the process of finding out what form of person your spouse would have really preferred.
Congratulations for embarking on life's journey called marriage.. which is either a two way street between compromise and sacrifice
Or a one way street to divorce!
Couples get a big surprise after getting married because they fail to figure out life’s biggest mystery – when two become one, halved is the fun.
Look, I know a good travel agent if either of you changes your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!
I'm happy that you are getting married, but does that mean I have to buy two birthday gifts every year instead of one?
The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive while stupidity comes free of cost.
I know I am going to have an awesome time attending your wedding because I will be reminded of all the money I will be saving by not getting married. Congratulations.
I cancelled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. After all, free food and booze was just too lucrative to give up. Congratulations.
Knowing the entrepreneurial couple that you are, I was wondering if you could give me some insider tips so I can place my bets on how long you both will last? Congratulations for getting hitched.
Congratulations – you just paid for a whole bunch of your friends and family to have the biggest party of their lives.
Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. After you’re married, you will just be mad at each other. Oh well, best wishes on the wedding.
You’ve finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!”
Funny Wedding Sayings
These hilarious sayings perfectly sum up marriage and weddings and all they entail. Any one of them should be a great fit for your wedding card,
When two hearts love each other, don’t forget the prenuptial.
Getting married is a two-way street – do all you can to avoid head-on collisions.
Getting married is like a class on Shakespeare. You get a little comedy, some romance and a lot of tragedy. Congratulations.
A person is incomplete without a spouse, but you’re finished with one. Enjoy married life!
Marriage: Where “Yes Dear” are the magic words.
If it weren’t for marriages, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
A blind wife and a deaf husband make for an ideal couple.
My wedding gift to you is two life preservers.
Bride: “I do!”
Groom: “I do what she says…”
May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.
Funny Wedding Quotes
So take advantage of their words and use them as a funny wedding message or to get some laughs in your speech.
“Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” – Megan Mullally
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Emma Bombeck
“Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” -Jerry Seinfeld
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” – Jack Benny
“Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain
“My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” – Henry Youngman
“To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.” – Ogden Nash
“Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it's because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word.” – Janet Periat
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” – Billy Connolly
Funny Wedding Wishes for Sister/Bride
Your kids grow up and move out. Your husband never does. Just sayin’. Best wishes on your marriage.
“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday”
“Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!”
Funny Wedding Wishes for Brother/Groom
What do fun with the boys, out on the town and partying have in common. Three things you won’t be doing after the wedding. Good luck.
“Spending time with friends” will now be a distant memory.
From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — You sure you want to do this?
After the happiness of your wedding day, you and your spouse will embark on the beautiful journey of married life. You’ll share everything together, from seemingly mundane details of your day to day lives to a home and possibly children. Year after year, you will grow together and your experiences as a married couple will strengthen your relationship and bond. You will continue to date each other, getting to know each other on a level that no one else will understand. You’ll be there for one another through all of the good and all of the bad. Each wedding anniversary is a celebration of this unique relationship and all of the memories of the past year. Here are 20 wedding quotes for your husband to inspire you whether it’s your first anniversary or your fiftieth.
1. Thank you for being my husband, my partner, my lover and my best friend. Happy anniversary!
2. All these years, you have been amazing. As a dad to our kids and as my lover, I have been happy in your arms and I could see that we’ll be happier for the rest of our days. Thank you for everything. Happy anniversary, my darling.
3. Since I met you, my life has never been the same. Thanks for making it better and happier. I love you and Happy Anniversary, hubby! I thank God for giving me the best husband!
4. I am so lucky to have you as my husband and this is my best day in my life. Happy anniversary to you my dear.
5. The very first moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew our hearts were meant to be. You are my courage, my angel, my soldier. You saved me. I love you.
6. You are truly a blessing from God. Thank you for being my partner, husband, lover and friend. Happy anniversary!
7. You’re the cheese to my macaroni.
8. No one else would understand our relationship, and no one else in this world would understand me the way you do. Happy anniversary!
9. Thank you for being there, especially when times get difficult. I love you and always will.
10. With you, I became a better person. Without you, my life will never be complete. Thank you for choosing me as your better half. Happy anniversary!
11. You’re the only one I want to annoy for the rest of my life. Happy wedding anniversary!
12. Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband!
13. Another year to create precious memories together. Another year to discover new things to enjoy about each other. Another year to strengthen a marriage that defines forever. Happy anniversary!
14. Thank you for treating me just as special on the days that are not our anniversary.
15. Not only have I seen truth in your eyes, you remind me of time itself for you are my past, present, future and forever. I love you. Happy anniversary.
16. Loved you then, love you still. Always have, always will.
17. If I had to choose again, I’d still choose you. Happy anniversary!
18. A lover, a partner, a husband, a best friend. I can’t believe that I have all rolled into one!
19. I was incomplete without you. I thank God that we met and we are together now. Happy anniversary!
20. On our anniversary, I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed annoying you all this time & how excited I am to keep doing so in the future.
Your husband is your life partner, staying strong with you through all the good times and all the bad. On your wedding anniversary, you’ll have the opportunity to really express your feelings and appreciation for everything you’ve been through. These wedding anniversary quotes for your husband are a great place to start, and you can tailor them to include personal stories and jokes. On a day as special as your wedding anniversary, you’ll want to make him feel special with your words and gifts.
20 Wedding Anniversary Quotes For Your Husband
Express your love and gratitude towards your husband with these wedding anniversary quotes. Both funny and serious ones are included to inspire you!
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