How you talk to yourself matters
"It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
For example, you just had a conversation with a stranger. Afterward, you tell yourself: "I acted like an idiot and said stupid things. I have no idea how to act around other people". The conversation didn’t cause your suffering. Instead, how you talked to yourself about it made you suffer.
It’s important to be self-aware and pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Learn to recognize when you distort reality so that you can be more compassionate with yourself.
Not everything is in your control
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."
Oftentimes, we suffer and feel bad about not being able to control everything. For example, your friend is in an abusive relationship, but they don’t see it. This might make you feel powerless, and you suffer because you love this person. However, no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to stop them from making their own decisions.
The important thing is to remember that some things are out of your control. You can choose your own path of action, but not others’. Recognizing and accepting that will save you a lot of suffering.
What people say about you
"If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it."
This quote speaks of the importance we place on what other people say about us. You have to be reasonable about this kind of thing. If someone speaks poorly of you and they’re right, then you should correct your behavior. Sometimes, other people’s words can help you pick up on problems that you hadn’t noticed.
On the other hand, if they’re wrong, you can try to clear your name, but you also have to know when to stop. Don’t take anything you know to be untrue to heart. Seeming hurt by this kind of thing can lead people to say things like "If it bothered you, it must be true." Thus, having a sense of humor is key.
Opinions and problems are contagious
"Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others."
This is another one of our favorite Epictetus quotes on suffering. Oftentimes, you can’t choose the people you have around you, like coworkers or classmates. This means you need to open your eyes and determine whether or not you’re letting them infect you with their attitudes or thoughts.
Being surrounded by negative people can lead you to have a very pessimistic view of the world without even realizing it. Being aware of this can help you keep these people from infecting you with their problems and attitudes.
Stepping back from misfortune
"Faced with your own misfortune, do not forget the kindness you bestow upon others with theirs."
This last quote leaves us with a very wise lesson. When we think about other people’s problems, we often see a clear solution or don’t believe them to be the end of the world. Back to the example of your friend who’s in an abusive relationship, you probably see the solution immediately: "Why don’t they just break up with them?"
But when you’re the one living the problem, you can’t see clearly and that pushes you not to act. That’s why Epictetus says to step back and try to look at things as if they were happening to a good friend or sibling.
One good way of doing this is to ask yourself: "If this was happening to someone I love, what would I tell them to do?" Visualizing that and saying the first thing that comes to mind will give you the answer you need.
These Epictetus quotes on suffering are lights in the dark and help you see things much more clearly. In the end, if you stop holding on to your suffering, it will disappear on its own.
It might interest you...One of (if not the) best person to explain Stoicism is Ryan Holiday.
So, what is stoicism exactly? Ryan says: “The whole thing boils down to this one idea, ‘There’s some stuff that’s up to us, there’s some stuff that’s not up to us.’”
Our job is focus on the things that are up to us, like this very moment, our actions in our careers, and the words we say.
Rather than regretting the past, complaining about what’s outside of your control, and worrying about the future, you have to focus on the present.
What’s up to you right now and what can you do about it?
What’s outside of you that you can’t control that you can stop stressing about? That’s stoicism.
“No one expects you to always live according to Stoic values and be positive, resilient, and never have a moment of weakness. That’s not realistic. But trying to be your best and most reliable self is very realistic.”
If you need a bit of inspiration or words to get you through a bad day, here are some stoic quotes for you to read.
Stoic Quotes for When You Want to Change Your Life
• “How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” – Epictetus
• “If you feel like the voice in your head is somehow standing in the way of living a good life, realize that you can change the voice.” – Darius Foroux
• “To be somebody or to do something.” – Ryan Holiday
• “No random actions, none based on underlying principles.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “Whenever you need to make a big decision, try to ask yourself: What are the ultimate outcomes I’m looking for? Does this align with who I actually am? What I’m actually good at? What I actually enjoy? Will this help me reach my ultimate goals? As Epictetus said, think about the consequences: Good and bad. If that’s in line with who you are, then go for it, if it’s not, don’t.” – Darius Foroux
• “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus
• “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.” – Seneca
• “The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.” – Seneca
• “When success begins to slip from your fingers—for whatever reason—the response isn’t to grip and claw so hard that you shatter it to pieces. It’s to understand that you must work yourself back to the aspirational phase. You must get back to first principles and best practices.” – Ryan Holiday
• “Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life.” – Marcus Aurelius
Stoic Quotes On Being Mindful and Present
• “We can’t recognize opportunities—or create them—if instead of seeing what is in front of us, we live inside our own fantasy.” – Ryan Holiday
• “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” ― Marcus Aurelius
• “To make the best of what is in our power, and take the rest as it occurs.” – Epictetus
• “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will. ”― Epictetus
• “Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.” – Epictetus
• “Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” – Seneca
• “We live only now. Everything else is either passed or is unknown.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “They lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn.” – Seneca
Stoic Quotes for When You Need Motivation and Inspiration
• “Love the hand that fate deals you and play it as your own, for what could be more fitting?” – Marcus Aurelius
• “Make it about what you feel you must do and say, not what you care about and wish to be.” – Ryan Holiday
• “You cannot change what happens to you. You can change the meaning you give to what happens.” – Darius Foroux
• “When everything seems to be melancholic in your life, and you’re just not excited about anything, try the following:. Create a new, meaningful goal.” – Darius Foroux
• “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.” – Ryan Holiday
• “Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.” – Seneca
• “Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. Put your principles into practice – now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! – Epictetus
• “Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do – now.” – Epictetus
• “Seek not the good in external things; seek it in yourselves.” – Epictetus
Stoic Quotes For When You Need Some Wisdom and Advice
• “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.” – Ryan Holiday
• “If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.” – Marcus Aurelius
• “Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.” – Seneca
• “Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We’ve been using them not because we needed them but because we had them.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
• “We will learn that though we think big, we must act and live small in order to accomplish what we seek.” – Ryan Holiday
• “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”―Seneca
• “When you stay in your own head, simmering in your own thoughts, the last thing you want to do is focus more on yourself. Start to focus on something outward.” – Darius Foroux
• “Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself.” – Epictetus
• “We forget: In life, it doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.” – Ryan Holiday
Quotes for When You Have a Hard Day
• ”No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.” – Seneca
• “Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control.” – Epictetus
• “Nothing is burdensome if taken lightly, and nothing need arouse one’s irritation so long as one doesn’t make it bigger than it is by getting irritated.”- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
• “We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.”- Seneca
• “I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.” – Seneca
• “The greatest work and art comes from wrestling with the void, facing it instead of scrambling to make it go away.” – Ryan Holiday
• “When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love…” – Marcus Aurelius
• “Sometimes it’s useful to process what’s happened in our past, and to try to work through it. But it’s also important not to let our stories about ourselves trap us.” – Darius Foroux
• “Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control. – Epictetus
• “Here is a rule to remember in future, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not “This is misfortune,” but “To bear this worthily is good fortune.” – Marcus Aurelius
Final Thoughts
We hope you feel inspired, excited, or motivated after reading these great stoic quotes by some of the best philosophers and stoic experts.
There’s a quote for any situation, and sometimes that’s enough to push you through the day.
Make sure to come back and read these stoic quotes whenever you need them for a burst of energy or as a reality check.
Stoicism is a life-long practice, so don’t expect yourself to be perfect.
Like anything else, it’s a matter of paying attention and evaluating where you are.
If you realize you’re out of alignment with your beliefs, simply choose to realign.
These stoic quotes are perfect for those times.
Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher. He was born a slave at Hierapolis, Phrygia, and lived in Rome until his banishment when he went to Nicopolis in northwestern Greece for the rest of his life. His teachings were written down and published by his pupil Arrian in his Discourses and Enchiridion. These Epictetus quotes will motivate you.
Best Epictetus Quotes
• “It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ~ Epictetus
• “When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it. It is not the things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance. Things and people are not what we wish them to be nor are they what they seem to be. They are what they are.” ~ Epictetus
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.” ~ Epictetus
• “Don't be concerned with other people's impressions of you. They are dazzled and deluded by appearances. Stick with your purpose. This alone will strengthen your will and give your life coherence.” ~ Epictetus
• “It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” ~ Epictetus
• “From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do — now.” ~ Epictetus
• “You become what you give your attention to…If you yourself don't choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will, and their motives may not be the highest.” ~ Epictetus
• “Be careful whom you associate with. It is human to imitate the habits of those with whom we interact. We inadvertently adopt their interests, their opinions, their values, and their habit of interpreting events.” ~ Epictetus
“Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.” – Epictetus<
• “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” ~ Epictetus
• “I have to die. If it is now, well then I die now; if later, then now I will take my lunch, since the hour for lunch has arrived – and dying I will tend to later.” ~ Epictetus
• “Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it.” ~ Epictetus
• “Try not to react merely in the moment. Pull back from the situation. Take a wider view. Compose yourself.” ~ Epictetus
• “Freedom and happiness come from understanding – and working with – our limits. Begin at once a program of self-mastery. Stick with your purpose. Do not seek external approval. Do not worry about anything outside of your control. The only things you command are your thoughts and actions. We choose our response. Stop aspiring to be anyone other than your own best self: for that does fall within your control.” ~ Epictetus
• “I laugh at those who think they can damage me. They do not know who I am, they do not know what I think, they cannot even touch the things which are really mine and with which I live.” ~ Epictetus
• “If someone speaks badly of you, do not defend yourself against the accusations, but reply; “you obviously don't know about my other vices, otherwise you would have mentioned these as well” ~ Epictetus
• “You have been given your own work to do. Get to it right now, do your best at it, and don't be concerned with who is watching you. Create your own merit.” ~ Epictetus
“God has entrusted me with myself.” ~ Epictetus
• “No matter what happens, it is within my power to turn it to my advantage.” ~ Epictetus
• “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” ~ Epictetus
• “Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems” ~ Epictetus
• “Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. Once you have determined the spiritual principles you wish to exemplify, abide by these rules as if they were laws, as if it were indeed sinful to compromise them. Don't mind if others don't share your convictions. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer.” ~ Epictetus
• “Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable, or from neglecting what is within our power.” ~ Epictetus
• “Wisdom means understanding without any doubt that circumstances do not rise to meet our expectations. Events happen as they may. People behave as they will.” ~ Epictetus, Epictetus quotes on circumstances
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” ~ Epictetus
• “Never depend on the admiration of others for self-satisfaction. It is a fact of life that other people, even people who love you, will not necessarily agree with your ideas, understand you always, or share your enthusiasm.” ~ Epictetus, Epictetus quotes on love
• “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” ~ Epictetus
• “When we blather about trivial things, we ourselves become trivial, for our attention gets taken up with trivialities. You become what you give your attention to.” ~ Epictetus
• “As you think, so you become…..Our busy minds are forever jumping to conclusions, manufacturing, and interpreting signs that aren't there.” ~ Epictetus
• “Keep your attention focused entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear that what belongs to others is their business and none of yours.” ~ Epictetus
• “What matters most is what sort of person you are becoming. Wise individuals care only about whom they are today and who they can be tomorrow.” ~ Epictetus
• “When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” ~ Epictetus
• “No great thing is created suddenly. There must be time. Give your best and always be kind.” ~ Epictetus
• “He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” ~ Epictetus
• “You can be happy if you know this secret: Some things are within your power to control and some things are not.” ~ Epictetus
• “Freedom and happiness are won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” ~ Epictetus
• “It is our attitude toward events, not events themselves, which we can control. Nothing is by its own nature calamitous — even death is terrible only if we fear it.” ~ Epictetus
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” ~ Epictetus
• “Who exactly do you want to be? What kind of person do you
want to be? What are your personal ideals? Whom do you admire? What are their special traits that you would make your own It's time to stop being vague. If you wish to be an extraordinary person, if you wish to become wise, then you should explicitly identify the kind of person you aspire to become. If you have a daybook, write down who you're trying to be, so that you can refer to this self-determination. Precisely describe the demeanor you want to adopt so that you may preserve it when you are by yourself or with other
people.” ~ Epictetus
“Anything worth putting off is worth abandoning altogether.” ~ Epictetus
• “Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back. For your own will is always within your control. Sickness may challenge your body. But are you merely your body? Lameness may impede your legs. But you are not merely your legs. Your will is bigger than your legs. Your will needn't be affected by an incident unless you let it.” ~ Epictetus
• “Books are the training weights of the mind.” ~ Epictetus
• “It's so simple really: If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you start something, finish it.” ~ Epictetus
• “Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.” ~ Epictetus
• “Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control. Stop aspiring to be anyone other than your own best self: for that does fall within your control.” ~ Epictetus
• “And be silent for the most part, or else make only the most necessary remarks, and express these in few words. But rarely, and when occasion requires you to talk, talk, indeed, but about no ordinary topics. Do not talk about gladiators, or horseraces, or athletes, or things to eat or drink – topics that arise on all occasions; but above all, do not talk about people, either blaming, or praising, or comparing them.” ~ Epictetus
“If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it.” ~ Epictetus<
• “What is a good person? One who achieves tranquillity by having formed the habit of asking on every occasion, “what is the right thing to do now?” ~ Epictetus
• “No matter where you find yourself, comport yourself as if you were a distinguished person.” ~ Epictetus
• “These are the signs of a wise man: to reprove nobody, to praise nobody, to blame nobody, nor even to speak of himself or his own merits.” ~ Epictetus
• “Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” ~ Epictetus, Epictetus quotes on knowing yourself
• “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” ~ Epictetus
“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.
” – Epictetus• “We all carry the seeds of greatness within us, but we need an image as a point of focus in order that they may sprout.” ~ Epictetus
• “Within our control are our own opinions, aspirations, and desires and the demons that distract us from these goals. Outside of our control are such things as what kind of body we have, whether or not we are born into wealth, and how we are regarded by others.” ~ Epictetus
• “Keep silence for the most part, and speak only when you must, and then briefly.” ~ Epictetus, Epictetus quotes on speaking
• “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” ~ Epictetus
“Unremarkable lives are marked by the fear of not looking capable when trying something new.” ~ Epictetus<
• “To make anything a habit, do it; to not make it a habit, do not do it; to unmake a habit, do something else in place of it.” ~ Epictetus
• “In trying to please other people, we find ourselves misdirected toward what lies outside our sphere of influence. In doing so, we lose our hold on our lifes purpose.” ~ Epictetus
• “Other people's views and troubles can be contagious. Don't sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others.” ~ Epictetus
• “Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back. For your own will is always within your control.” ~ Epictetus
• “Have the wisdom to know what cannot be changed, and the strength to change what can.” ~ Epictetus