Whether you’re searching for the perfect funny quotes for husband or wife or any other milestone anniversary, you’re sure to find a humorous way to say congratulations. Celebrate that special couple and their committed marriage with a funny quote on an anniversary card or with sentimental anniversary gifts.
With each passing wedding anniversary, there is more to laugh about and more to celebrate. In our list of curated quotes, you’ll find well wishes for a husband, wife, and friends alike. Not to mention additional antics about married life that you can include in a card or a social media post.
Funny Anniversary Quotes for Husband
Find the best anniversary quote for husband with these funny ideas for him. Wish your favorite guy a happy anniversary funny way with these good wishes. Whether it’s joking about your love life or doing more around the house, he’s sure to get a kick out of these memorable quotes.
• "Happy Anniversary to the best first husband I’ll ever have."
• "My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house."
• "Marriage is a workshop… where husband works & wife shops.
• "My husband said he needed more space… So I locked him outside!"
• "Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway."
• "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. "- Michel De Montaigne
• "Holy crap. We’re still married? You’re still my husband? Happy anniversary, I guess. I love you!"
• "On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I got from annoying the hell out of you all these years. I also want you to know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy anniversary, dear husband!"
• Husbands are the best people to share a secret with because they never listen anyway.
• "My dear husband, I want you. To do more around the house."
• "Happy anniversary to my husband, who still looks at me the way he looks at other women."
• On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I got from annoying the hell out of you all these years. I also want you to know that I have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy anniversary, dear husband
• Sometimes I look at you and I just can’t help but feel happy for you. After all, you married the world’s most beautiful and brilliant woman. Happy anniversary, dearest husband
• Marriage is a relationship between two people in love where the other is always right and the other is called a husband
• A good marriage is one that makes room for love, patience, understanding, truth, as well as all your shoes, clothes, and bags. Happy anniversary to my husband who lets me have all the room that I want.
• "All I want for next year is you. Just kidding, give me diamonds."
• "My husband said he needed more space… So I locked him outside!
• "Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them.
• I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.– Elizabeth Evans
• "Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.
Funny Anniversary Quotes for Wife
Even though you’re great at cracking jokes, find the perfect funny wedding anniversary quotes for wife below. While she might be sick of your dad jokes, these funny antics are sure to bring a smile to her beautiful face. One more way to remind her of how lucky she is.
• "In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." – Woody Allen
• "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher." -Socrates
• "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead… get married. If you first don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you."
• You’re the only one that I have, and you’re the only one I will ever have. But I just wanted you to know that you’re my favorite wife. I love you, wifey! Happy anniversary.
• If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it again. This time, do it just like the way your wife told you to!
• Happy anniversary to my wife. Yep, you’re still the person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.
• When people ask me about what makes a happy marriage, I simply tell them that the wife is always right. When you think she’s wrong, hit yourself on the head and remember that the wife is always right. Happy anniversary to my wife!
• To keep your marriage strong and your wife happy, admit it whenever you’re wrong and shut up whenever you’re right. Happy anniversary to my wife, by the way!
• "One year down, freaking forever to go. Happy anniversary."
• "Happy Anniversary! We’ve been through a lot together and most of it was your fault."
• "Being married to you is like having a best friend who never listens to what you say."
• "You are the only one I want to annoy for the rest of my life. Happy Anniversary!"
• "On our wedding anniversary I just want to give a big party from your pay. Happy Anniversary!"
• "I love you more than carbs but less than cheese!"
• "I still love you. Even though you fart in your sleep."
• "I love you. Thanks for killing all the spiders this year."
• "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
• "Happy anniversary my love. Eat all the leftovers again and I will end you."
• "Happy anniversary day from the best thing that ever happened to you."
• "My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. "- Jack Benny
• I love waking up next to you in the morning. Just don’t breathe on me
• Happy Anniversary, darling, I still admire your determination to change me.
Funny Anniversary Quotes for Friends
You’ve known from the very beginning that these two were meant for each other. Celebrate their love for one another while poking a little fun at them also. They are sure to remember the funny wedding anniversary quotes that you include in their card or gift.
• Woo hoo! Congratulations! You’ve made it! It’s your wedding anniversary! Can you hardly believe this much time has passed since you tied the knot?! Well the best is yet to come, my friend!
• There’s a cover for every pot, and you have found yours. Enjoy the perfect match you have, and celebrate your anniversary with a warm helping of love. Congratulations!
• "Love can begin at any moment, it grows over time and could last for eternity. Happy Anniversary to you, my friend!"- Unknown
• "A friend who means the world to me. A friend who is always there. May this anniversary be as lovely as ever, and may you find more things to share. Happy Anniversary!"-Unknown
• "I am happy to know two amazing people who have been together for an amazing amount of time."- Unknown
• "A couple that truly lives and understands. May your anniversary be superbly grand.Glad to have you as my friends. Have a blast!"- Unknown
• "Marriage is that relation between a man and his wife in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual and the obligation reciprocal. Happy Anniversary, Friend."- Unknown
• "Your anniversary is a reminder that you are blessed enough to have found your soulmate, and that life has become so much sweeter since the day you became husband and wife. Happy Anniversary!"
• Here’s to two imperfect pieces that perfectly fit each other. Happy Anniversary
Funny Anniversary Quotes about Married Life
Whether that special couple has been married for a year or they are coming up on the 50-year milestone, they will find any of these funny marriage anniversary quotes humorous. These good wishes will congratulate the happy anniversary couple on their special day.
• "I know you appreciate the fact that before we were married you didn’t know there was a wrong way to put the milk back in the fridge."
• Marriage is just texting each other – "do we need anything from the grocery store?" – until one of you dies.
• I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
• Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity
• Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
• Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery
• "A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time."
• Thinking about it, I wouldn’t have married you if I wanted a peaceful life. My life would have been so unexciting and boring. Happy Anniversary!
• Thank you for marrying me and giving me a chance, To scream at you whenever I feel, And I am sure I have you to do the same in future. So let us celebrate our Happy Anniversary
• "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener"
• "If love is an amazing dream,then marriage is the alarm clock."
• "Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
• "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."- Groucho Marx
• Before, I thought I know what happiness is, I just realize what it was when I got married Then I wake up, it’s already too late
• Married life is much like a deck of cards. You start off needing only two hearts and a diamond. The more years pass, you’ll just wish that you have a club and a spade instead!
• "Holy shit. We’re still married!"
• Marriage is finding that one person who puts up with your drama, admires your weirdness, and still tells you they love you at the end of the day
• "Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you."
Most married couples will agree that getting married is easy. It’s the staying married that is the difficult part. You may think that planning a wedding with 500 guests is already hard enough.
But think about the many years that you will be sharing with this one person, building a life together, raising children together, overcoming challenges together, making decisions together, fighting temptations together, and forgiving one another over and over again.
It’s a gift to be married to someone that you love, but it will not always be fun and games. The longer you stay married, the more things you will find to fight about.
The longer that you stay together, the more you will also realize that you cannot imagine yourself being married to anybody else.
Marriage can be complicated at times, but often times, marriage is also very loving and easy. Being a husband or a wife is a huge responsibility. It's challenging, and it's not for everybody, but it always comes with great rewards.
Most couples will agree with these quotes, and they're sure to elicit a chuckle or two from them. Browse through the list and bookmark your favorite!
Funny Anniversary Quotes for Your Husband
On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I got from annoying the hell out of you all these years. I also want you to know that have no plans of stopping anytime soon. Happy anniversary, dear husband!
Part of being married is being yourself in front of your spouse. If you are naturally goofy, naughty, lazy, or obsessive-compulsive, you will find that being married is something that will drive you crazy as much as it will make you happy.
But because you are married to this person, you have no choice but to embrace all the lovable and unlovable things about them.
Today, we celebrate the best decision you have ever made in your life. That's making me your wife and the mother of your kids. Happy anniversary, honey!
Another way of saying this is that behind every successful man is a loving and supportive wife. Without a wife's loving guidance, husbands will be wearing sloppy clothes and ugly hair.
They will be living in messy and smelly homes with nothing in the fridge but microwaveable food.
They will be making unsound decisions because they sounded good at the time, and they will be taking the longer route just because they are too stubborn to ask directions or use the sat nav.
Sometimes I look at you and I just can't help but feel happy for you. After all, you married the world's most beautiful and brilliant woman. Happy anniversary, dearest husband!
Every wife likes to think that their husband hit the jackpot when they married them. That's why husbands should never stop making their wives feel like a queen. Even if it’s not your anniversary!
It doesn’t take much to make a wife happy. Just follow everything they say. Shower them with love and affection. Never look at another woman again. And give them what they want without making too much fuss about it.
Holy crap. We're still married? You’re still my husband? Happy anniversary, I guess. I love you!
Sometimes you will just wake up and wonder where all the years have gone and how you managed to stay together. Marriage is not all fun and games, after all.
Sometimes you take the advice of other couples who have been married longer than you. Sometimes you just follow your gut and wing it!
You annoy me every chance that you get. It’s like you get turned on every time I start to get irritated. Well, I still love you, and we can spend the rest of our lives annoying each other! Happy anniversary!
Once you're married, you will finally see the other side of your partner that you have not seen while you were still dating.
Whether you love it or hate it, it comes with the package, and you just have to learn to live with it for as long as you’re married!
Marriage is a relationship between two people in love where the other is always right and the other is called a husband.
Whether husbands like it or not, wives always have the final say. You may complain, you may rebel, and you may act out. But in the end, it’s always what the wife wants, what the wife thinks is right, and what the wife knows is best that will prevail.
Every day, I just fall in love with you more. Except maybe for yesterday, because yesterday you were quite creepy and annoying. I love you anyway. Happy anniversary!
You may love your husband with all your heart. He may make your heart race, your palms sweat, and your breathing shallow. But he will also annoy you to no end with the smallest things.
More often than not, he will annoy you more than he will excite you. That's married life for you!
Funny Anniversary Quotes for Your Wife
I've been really crazy and out of control. I sometimes act like a fool and like a child. I'm really wondering why you're still married to me. Probably because we're so much alike! I love you! Happy anniversary.
When you get married, you fall into a rhythm with that one person. This person will soon understand all your quirks and embrace all your weirdness.
They will accept you and love you enough to make the marriage work and make the both of you happy in love!
Baby, even though you call me in the middle of the day just to tell me how much you pooped that morning, and how much your burp smells like tacos, I'm still hopelessly in love with you and all that you are. Happy anniversary!
The good thing about being married to the person you love is that you can say or do anything, and they will no longer think it's gross.
It sends the message that you're comfortable enough with them to do the things that you would only do when there’s no one else around.
You're the only one that I have, and you're the only one I will ever have. But I just wanted you to know that you're my favorite wife. I love you, wifey! Happy anniversary.
They say that nothing lasts forever. But it would be good to know that you are the favorite wife, just in case your marriage does not work out!
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it again. This time, do it just like the way your wife told you to!
Husbands are notorious for being stubborn. When you tell them that something should be done this way, instincts will kick in and they will do it the other way.
Until they realize that your way is the best way. And then they will do it again, this time using your way, but without directly acknowledging that yours had been the right way from the start. Husbands — either you love them or you want to bang their heads with something hard so that they will see sense.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how you put up with me. And then I remember that I put up with you, too. That makes us even. I love you. Happy anniversary!
Your spouse's strengths and weaknesses are all part of the package, so it's either you love them or you leave them!
It’s pretty awesome that we have been together for however long we have been together. We must be doing marriage right! I love you. Happy anniversary!
No one marriage is the same because a marriage is made up of two unique individuals. Whatever works for other couples you know may not work for your own marriage.
No matter how weird, different, or unconventional your marriage may be, the important thing is that you love and honor each other, that you’re faithful to each other, and that you make each other insanely happy. That’s good enough to make a marriage last!
Other people may call it chaos, but we call it marriage. Happy anniversary to us!
Only the husband and the wife know what goes into their marriage. Other people are just mere spectators, and they don’t get a say on what you should or shouldn’t do, and what your marriage should or shouldn’t be like. Go ahead and be two crazy people in a loving marriage!
Funny Anniversary Quotes About Married Life
Married life is much like a deck of cards. You start off needing only two hearts and a diamond. The more years pass, you'll just wish that you have a club and a spade instead!
If you’re married for a long time, you will know how true this sounds sometimes. Married life will start off so sweet and romantic.
Everything is just like love in the movies. You don’t want to be away for too long from each other, and you just seem to be kissing, touching, hugging, and making love all the time.
But as the years go by, you will also realize that the things you once thought were endearing are now just plain annoying.
Soon the imperfections getting noticed, and soon there are disagreements and fights that happen along the way. Don't worry, that's normal. That's called a marriage!
It's incredible how many years we have tolerated one another. Happy anniversary, love!
Just like the vows you exchanged on your wedding day, you will love each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and for richer or for poorer.
Instead of thinking that you're just tolerating each other, it will be better to think of it as loving each other in spite of.
In case you didn’t know it yet, marriage is a workshop. That's because the husband works and the wife shops!
Nowadays, this no longer rings true. But wouldn’t it be great if wives can still do this and husbands would not complain?
Marriage is a relationship between two people in which one person is right and the other one always needs more vodka.
In any marriage, one party will always have something more to say. Usually, it’s the wife. If you're not one for too much discourse, then you most definitely need more alcohol in your system!
You know you're married when you love the sound your spouse makes when they finally shut up.
Marriage is spending the rest of your life with someone you love. Someone you also want to kill on some days, but you don’t because you'd miss them so much if you do.
Admit it. Your spouse may annoy the hell out of you, break your heart, or make you livid, but you can’t see yourself being with anybody else.
You can't imagine yourself packing up and leaving because you just really love this person. You may want to hurt them just to feel good for a moment, but you don’t ever truly want to hurt them in an irreparable way.
Marriage is finding that one person who puts up with your drama, admires your weirdness, and still tells you they love you at the end of the day.
No matter how much you drive each other crazy, you will always find reasons to love one another and stay in love over the years.
Marriage makes you more committed, more forgiving, more understanding, and more loving that you are willing to take the good with the bad.
Hilarious Anniversary Quotes
I guess congratulations are in order because we made it another year without one of us ending up behind bars or six feet under. It’s another winning moment, my love. Happy anniversary!
Happy anniversary to my wife. Yep, you’re still the person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.
Today, let’s celebrate the best decision you have ever made — falling in love with me! Happy wedding anniversary!
When people ask me about what makes a happy marriage, I simply tell them that the wife is always right. When you think she’s wrong, hit yourself on the head and remember that the wife is always right. Happy anniversary to my wife!
On our wedding anniversary, I want you to know how much I have loved annoying you and infuriating you all these years. I look forward to doing it for many, many years more. I love you! Happy anniversary!
A good marriage is one that makes room for love, patience, understanding, truth, as well as all your shoes, clothes, and bags. Happy anniversary to my husband who lets me have all the room that I want.
We’ve been married for so long. I’m so amazed by everything we’ve been through together, even if most of it was your own fault. Happy anniversary!
Every year you always complain that I never take you anywhere expensive. That’s about to change this year because I have decided to go on a little trip. Get in the car, sweetheart — we’re going to the gas station. Happy anniversary!
Ten years married, 3,650 days, 87,600 hours, over a hundred million minutes, two wonderful children, two dogs, plenty of love and laughter, and zero stabbings. Happiest anniversary, my love!
To keep your marriage strong and your wife happy, admit it whenever you’re wrong and shut up whenever you’re right. Happy anniversary to my wife, by the way!
You have been keeping me up at night with your loud snores for the past ten years. I’ve grown used to it and I still love you. Happy anniversary!
I can’t believe we’re celebrating another anniversary. It’s amazing how long we have put up with each other. Happy anniversary, my love!
Looking back, I wouldn’t have married someone like you if I wanted a quiet and peaceful life. Thank you for bringing noise and chaos so lovingly into my life all these years. Happy anniversary!
It turns out I like you so much more than I originally intended! Here’s to more anniversaries with you. I love you!
Today is a very special day. Let’s celebrate the day that you finally gave up on trying to find someone hotter, smarter, and more beautiful than me. Happy anniversary!
I really thought that you were just going to be a one-night stand. Thank you for proving me wrong and for being more to me than just a casual hookup. I love you! Happy anniversary!
I run this blog to bring light and joy to people across the world. When I am not coming up with new wishes and quotes I enjoy walking my dog with my husband Max and I also sing in our local gospel choir. If you like my website the best compliment you can give me is to share it with your friends and family. Thanks so much for reading, sharing, tweeting and pinning all my work! Carol xx