Share with your friends!
So your friend or family member is getting married, and you want to write some funny wedding wishes on their card? Or maybe you're tasked with giving a speech at the wedding and you're wanting to make it humorous and memorable? Here are 100 Funny Wedding Wishes to share.
I am so happy for you! ButâŚ
We have all heard those cringeworthy stories about what Great Aunt Shirley had the nerve to say at Cousin Johnâs wedding. And right to the brideâs face! As guests, we want to provide warm, heartfelt wishes to the newly married duo. Unfortunately, not everyone is as great with a joke as theyâd like to believe. Or perhaps youâre great at well-timed humor most days, but making a joke that is appropriate for the occasion is where you fall flat. Whether youâre adept at crafting a good wedding pun, or you need a little help in the humor department, the below list will help you craft the perfect wedding wish while also getting that well-deserved chuckle.
How to Write Funny Wedding Wishes
⢠He Who Must not be Named:
The groom is smiling. The bride is absolutely glowing. You could not possibly be happier for these two. And you like him so much better than that last pain in the neck she was dating. You think to yourself, "I bet the groom would really appreciate hearing that!" STOP. He would not. Instead of telling either the bride or groom why they are so much better than that last punk, just state the positive by saying, "She finally got it right!"
⢠Gender Roles Arenât Funny:
Until they are. The world around is changing every day. Marriages are not as traditional as they once were. Perhaps the bride is planning to work while her new groom will stay home and raise the kids. Maybe the groom is the superior cook, and the bride is not allowed in the kitchen at all. Itâs ok to crack a joke about how the groom will make sure she doesnât burn the house down trying to use the oven. Regardless of who is taking on what role in the marriage, just walk right up to the groom, shake his hand, and say, "Congratulations. Itâs about time someone made an honest woman out of you."
⢠Daughter for Sale:
Pointing out that the brideâs parents are likely very thrilled to see their daughter married off and happy is also a tried-and-true wedding wish. Poking fun using this trope can be done in many ways. Perhaps make reference to the groomâs new father-in-law including a PS5 as part of his daughterâs dowry.
⢠Remember When?
Memories! We love them! In fact, we barely live in the moment anymore. Instead, we say we are making memories. Do you have a fond memory of the bride and groom? Was the groom working in the human resources department while the bride was in sales, and he was too nervous to ask her out? Any crack about how he risked having to write himself a reprimand in order to get the first date will be a great way to poke fun at that sweet memory. Any memory you can share about how the couple almost didnât get together is always good for a laugh.
⢠Check out Fiverr:
We are all funny in our own way. However, it is possible you are not funny in a way that will get that laugh. Or perhaps youâre not funny at all, and your friends are too polite to tell you. If it has been a while since youâve heard a chortle after one of your puns, it is likely youâre going to need to farm-out the funny to a freelancer. Share a few bits and pieces about the bride and groom, like how they met, how you know the two of them, and why you are happy for them. Spend a crisp $5 on Fiverr to have someone craft a wish from you that is both heartfelt and hilarious. Some writers even allow for revisions, so you can keep working with them to get the perfect amount of profound and playful into your wish.
Since you now have some direction to get started, take a moment to write down your favorite memories and other ideas in order to get ball rolling on your creativity. And if you happen to feel a bit of joke writersâ block, a quick walk away from the laptop will help clear that head. No need to stress! A wedding wish is always welcome even if it doesnât include a laugh.
He knew she was a keeper when she never got annoyed that he spent a day and a half with his buddies for the annual Fantasy Football draft. Seriously. It's a day and a half.
Thanks so much to the happy couple for letting us witness this union. And for the open bar. Mostly for the bar.
I remember a day when we celebrated a happy couple by eating cake. But this wall of donuts is cool, too.
If you're divorced inside of two years, will you reimburse me for that toaster?
I finally found someone who gets my jokes. At least I hope he gets them. If he was faking it, this is going to be a looong road.
Like a mysterious rash with unknown origins, may your love continue to spread all throughout your body.
We bless you with the good health to continue to fit into that dress for the next ten years. From year eleven on, all bets are off.
A good marriage is when you have someone there to laugh with you. And at you. Mostly at you.
Forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you. I mean seriously. If God can get over it, you can make an effort, too.
May the two of you commit to being honest, kind, and to at least consider using one of the fondue sets you receive today at least once a year.
They say that money cannot buy love like this. But having it is one less thing to fight about.
Best wishes to as you build a life together and may building that life require minimal trips to the Home Depot.
What made you decide to risk a 50% chance of divorce by spending tens of thousands of dollars to throw a party in a barn?
Such a beautiful couple is sure to create beautiful children. That won't change the part where those children will one day turn into little terrors who appear to be sent to destroy this most holy union.
It is no surprise that our groom landed such beautiful bride. You should've seen the chicks he was nailing back in college.
Welcome to the family. No, there's nothing we can do about Great Uncle Bob.
We're all so happy to be here and aren't just attending because of the free booze.
This marriage is a dream come true, and I'm so glad it's not the dream where the faceless man is chasing me in my old high school gym.
Some say, âMarriage is just a piece of paperâ. To those pessimists, I like to say âIt also has a number of tax benefits.â
Marriage isn't a journey. It's an evolution. Here's hoping that in 10 years, he's no longer an ape and is still erectus.
We raise a glass to all of you who kindly adhered to our âAdults Onlyâ reception. Don't worry, Auntie will surely be able to get red frosting out of her veil, Jaden.
May you love each other as much as our elderly relatives love conspiracies involving Bill Gates.
May the years ahead be filled with joy, happiness, and enough square footage so that you don't annoy one another.
Here's wishing you a lifetime of memories such as where to hide that stupid elf after you introduce one into your home to keep the kids in line.
May your marriage not just be blessed, but hashtag blessed.
May everyday be as special as your wedding day. But hopefully much less expensive.
Though we would have traveled anywhere to watch you wed, we'd prefer an actual cake to cake pops when we arrive. I mean really. Cake pops? They're tiny.
Always remember to love one another to the moon. But not back. Not yet at least. Let's see how things play out first.
Thank you for letting us share in your special day. Not to make it weird, but are there any bacon-wrapped dates left over?
Toilets seats left up. Socks not in the hamper. Unannounced mother-in-law visits. If you think your problems will be that easy, you really are going to need all the luck and well wishes in the world.
The key to a happy marriage is always to finish whatever you started binge-watching together. Netflix will tell you if she watched it while you were out.
May you have a long happy life navigating all the problems that are thrown at you. Even though one of you likely created most of those problem.
A big, heartfelt thank you to our entire wedding party. Now is as good a time as any to tell you that you will NEVER wear those bridesmaidsâ dresses again.
Love is patient. OK, get on with it. There is a carving station at the buffet, and I haven't eaten since 9 am.
The book for Ruth states âYour people shall be my peopleâ. That even includes your Aunt Martha.
Congrats to the happy couple! Sorry if that sounds informal, but I don't know how to spell congratulations.
Hate what is evil; Like inviting your mother over before I've had time to clean. Romans 12:9, kinda.
We're thrilled to add another leaf to our family tree. Here's hoping it doesn't turn brown and fall off by the end of October.
As you begin your new life together, remember that the old one is well-documented on at least three different social media platforms.
Thanks for including us on your special day. We know it's not free for us to attend.
We are so thrilled you traveled all this way to join us in celebration, and we're confident you'd have done so even if there wasn't an open bar.
When do you plan on starting a family? When? WHEN, Jessica?!? HAVE A BABY ALREADY.
Admitting when you're wrong will be a key to a happy marriage. It also couldnât hurt to avoid gloating when you're right.
It's easy to fall in love but tough to stay in love. I can't wait until 3 years from now to see which one you guys are.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Like even greater than coffee.
I knew the happy couple was meant to be when she learned about the autographed Kid Rock poster he still displayed and wanted to marry him anyway.
They say the worst thing a wedding guest could do is wear white. I'd say that's a distant second to stabbing the groom.
May you remember this day for years to come, and not just the part where the kitchen didn't make enough appetizers because Aunt Carol didn't get any.
On which dating app did the happy couple meet?
Cheers to a bright and happy future! Itâs a future that will never be as awesome as today because there will be kids there.
Wishing you all the happiness that sharing a mortgage can bring.
Let's celebrate the happy couple by eating salad out of a mason jar. And then hitting that mason jar with our forks until they kiss. Because wedding.
Ladies, marriage is just finding that special man and committing to spending one day a week folding his underpants.
I pray you are happier together each day. That means today is the least happy you will ever be. Let's all raise a glass to your crappiest day!
Please take the personalized matchbooks and bookmarks with you as a memory of the numerous arguments we had when deciding on them.
May you never grow tired of pulling fistfuls of your wife's hair from the shower drain.
A special thanks to those of you here who didn't RSVP. It was no problem finding an extra hay bail for you to sit on.
Though I secretly despise video games and judge you for playing them, this wedding marks the day where I no longer have to hold such feelings inside.
The bible tells us that a wife must respect her husband. It says nothing about having to fold his socks, but you'll probably be doing that, too.
The couple has been together so long, we had to tell the groom âShit or get off the potâ. We're so glad he decided to shit.
âGod lives in us and his love is made complete in us.â â1 John 4:12 âYou complete me.â -Tom Cruise
Cheers to our groom for snagging such a hot wife! You know he's broke, right?
I'm certain your marriage will be wonderful and blissful. Until you have kids.
We're blessed to have gained a new family member. We were growing tired of arguing with Uncle John on our own at Thanksgiving and could use the help.
Remember to care for and listen to one another no matter how stupid your partner's problems are to you.
We're all thrilled that bride is such a strong, self-assured woman who is not afraid to wear white ironically.
I don't know who decided that joining couples in matrimony should be accompanied by prime rib, but let's thank that guy!
May the happy couple continue to love, honor, and not make plans on Sunday when the Cardinals are playing. Unless it's a bye week. But it really all depends on whether theyâve been mathematically eliminated yet.
Please raise your glass of champagne, and let us all try not to talk about how or why the bride is drinking sparkling cider.
The wedding was beautiful. The groomsmen looked quite simply dashing in their Chuck Taylors.
May you be fruitful and multiply. But not for like, I don't know, another 5 years. Trust me.
We are all so thrilled that these two both decided to swipe right.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 states âIf either of them falls down, one can help the other up.â It states nothing about holding in your laugh.
May you two never get tired of sleeping together. I mean, it happened to Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, so be prepared.
The secret to successful marriage is to find a right person. May you refrain from strangling that person for years to come!
Congratulations on buying the cow. We hope it wasn't just for the milk, because as it turns out that's a very small part of marriage.
âI have found the one whom my soul loves.â âSong of Solomon 3:4. It's worth a mention that my head and heart just like you as a friend.
We can all see that love has put a twinkle in your eye. And we are thrilled it's not the kind of twinkles that needs 14 days' worth of antibiotic drops.
The heart wants what the heart wants. And apparently two hearts wanted all their friends and family to take off work and travel to wine country to eat chicken breast.
A heartfelt thanks to our groomsmen who had to escort three guests out of the reception for wearing jeans.
Here's to a long and happy marriage where you no longer bicker about the color of napkins.
May you learn early on in this union that the secret to a happy marriage is two thermostats.
Wishing you a long and happy marriage in that order. Because if it's not happy, it will certainly feel long.
As I sit here and listen to everyone wishing you peace and bliss, I canât help but wonder if they're being sarcastic.
At no other place would we see love being celebrated alongside women in formal gowns and cowboy boots. Except every other wedding ever since about 2022.
My feelings toward your special day can best be summed up the way the Gin Blossoms named their 2nd studio album: Congratulations, I'm sorry.
We are so happy to be friends with both of you. But mostly we're here because we know Becky's mom from work.
You have all of life's biggest decisions ahead you. Like which side of the bed you'll sleep on because it will never change even when you stay at a hotel.
To the bride, who has done a wonderful job pretending to like your sports teams even though she'd prefer to be reading a book or binge-watching Downton Abbey.
I take you as my husband, to have and to scold, or you can just put the dishes away where I asked you.
This may be one of the oddest things I've ever seen two people do just to score a free gravy boat.
Mark 10:9 states: âTherefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.â Don't let a lawyer tell you otherwise.
Are you hoping to welcome children in the future, or do you prefer to remain happy?
We have so enjoyed celebrating with the people we love. And the dates they felt the need to bring though we all know you'll be broken up inside of a year.
There's no one I'd rather spend thousands of dollars on mason jars with than you.
Among all the well-wishes, no one tells you the best part of marriage: Splitting the rent.
Falling in love is easy but staying in love is work. And spoiler alert: you do the work for free, and there are no paid vacations.
Share with your friends!
Weddings are big events, and taken seriously by those involved. But sometimes it is appropriate to offer a bit of fun to the big day. Especially when it's someone like your best friend getting married.
That's where a funny wedding message comes in. A few funny words or a funny quote can be a great way to break the ice or calm their nerves.
And who better to have a joke with than a best friend? You know each other as well as anyone.
So if you want something funny to say or write in a wedding card for your best friend then the messages and quotes below should be ideal.
⢠Funny Wedding Wishes for Best Friend
⢠Funny Wedding Wishes for Female Best Friend
⢠Funny Wedding Wishes for Male Best Friend
⢠Funny Wedding Quotes for Best Friend
Funny Wedding Wishes for Best Friend
⢠Keep calm and don't do it Congratulations bestie!
⢠You will have moments when you really love each other⌠then there will be the rest of the time!
⢠âSpending time with friendsâ will now be a distant memory. Try not to forget me!
⢠Look at you two getting married, while here I am still swiping right on Tinder! Congratulations, pal
⢠Congratulations for embarking on life's journey called marriage⌠which is either a two way street between compromise and sacrifice or a one way street to divorce!
⢠I know a good travel agent if you change your mind? If not, have a wonderful wedding!
⢠I know I am going to have an awesome time attending your wedding because I will be reminded of all the money I will be saving by not getting married. Congratulations my best friend!
⢠Your wedding marks the end of your love story and the start of a new everlasting headache!
⢠Youâve finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!
⢠What do late night parties, outings with friends and lazy weekends have in common? They all disappear after you get married. So cheers to this new chapter!
Funny Wedding Wishes for Female Best Friend
⢠Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age â as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight
⢠Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore
⢠I know I am going to have an awesome time attending your wedding because I will be reminded of all the money I will be saving by not getting married. Congratulations!
⢠A person is incomplete without a spouse, but youâre finished with one. Enjoy married life!
⢠Your kids grow up and move out. Your husband never does. Just sayinâ. Best wishes for your wedding
⢠I guess your wedding isn't all bad, at least now you'll annoy someone else when you're bored! Congratulations to us both!
⢠If you were dying to cook for someone your whole life, you could have just come to me! Only kiddin', congratulations!
⢠The secret to a happy marriage? I'll tell you⌠it's a secret!
⢠Congratulations. You can look forward to everyone asking âwhen are you going to get marriedâ to stop and "when is the baby due" taking its place
⢠Congratulations on your first adopted baby â your husband!
Funny Wedding Wishes for Male Best Friend
⢠Some future advice for the Groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it⌠once!
⢠I'm happy that you are getting married, but does that mean I have to buy two birthday gifts every year instead of one?
⢠Knowing the entrepreneurial couple that you are, I was wondering if you could give me some insider tips so I can place my bets on how long you both will last? Congratulations for getting hitched
⢠Never forget these two powerful sentences that can spell the difference between war and peace. Those are "Youâre right, dear" and "Okay, buy it".
⢠Itâs like a give or take relationship. You either give or she knows how to take it. Happy married life my friend
⢠Marriage: Where "Yes Dear" are the magic words
⢠You are really lucky, as you got an opportunity to choose your prison. Happy wedding! Congratulations my best friend
⢠From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money â are you sure you want to do this?
⢠Congratulations â you just paid for a whole bunch of your friends and family to have the biggest party of their lives
⢠I will pass on some of my wisdom to you my friend: the most important four words for a successful marriage: âIâll do the dishesâ
Funny Wedding Quotes for Best Friend
⢠âI amâ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that âI doâ is the longest sentence?â â George Carlin
⢠Marriage â the only day people cheerfully escort you to your sufferings ahead. Have a nice married life!
⢠Marriage is like âI accept the terms and conditionsâ without actually reading them. Happy Wedding Day!
⢠All weddings are happy. It's living together afterwards that's difficult!
⢠A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal
⢠Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering
⢠Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and spade
⢠âA man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finishedâ â Zsa Zsa Gabor
⢠âWhy do married people live longer than single people? I think it's because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner â just so they can have the last wordâ â Janet Periat
⢠âMarriage: sometimes soulmates, sometimes cellmatesâ â Rory Elder
⢠The only difference between marriage and stupidity is that marriage is expensive while stupidity comes free of cost
We hope you these quotes and sayings have helped you to find the perfect wedding message. A few funny words can help to lighten the mood on the big day.
As long as you are their for your friend and can offer them your support as well as a joke or laugh then you'll have the best funny wedding wishes for a best friend.