Charmaine_Champagne
my ex ended things with me very cruelly earlier this year and really treated me like crap. we were first loves, together 6 years since aged 17 but he really changed completely as a person, started hanging out with new macho friends and just suddenly wanted rid of me to be single and mess around, his behavior towards me was vile, esp as i'd always been loyal and loving to him. (my 1st ever threads here tell the whole horrible story)
i really hit rock bottom before i started feeling better but for the past few months i was doing well.. then christmas arrived, and not only is it christmas but my birthday aswell and i started feeling down as this is the first xmas in 6 years that we have been apart. plus the fact it is also my birthday hit home to me.
all i wrote back to him two days later was "thanks, hope you had a good christmas!"
-do you think this was an ok response? or do you guys think i should have ignored it?
it is abit of an ego boost to know he was thinking of me.
did any of you guys hear from your exes this christmas?
any thoughts on my response to him also? was i right to respond???
?????
thanks.
Edited December 27, 2009 by Charmaine_ChampagneShare on other sites
Charmaine_Champagne
i guess another point is we've been broken up now 9 months, i've been doing NC, we didn't part on good terms and anytime NC was broken it was just arguing and pain. prior to his xmas wishes i hadn't heard from him in 3 weeks when he insulted me. we aren't friends, we can't be.. basically what i'm trying to say is it's been so long, therefore he didn't have to send that message, he could have ignored my birthday.. so why did he bother?
i don't think it was an overly bad thing of me to reply, after all i did just say ''thanks, hope u had a good xmas" short and sweet
it'd b interesting to see what others make of it tho, but yeh we aren't in contact so he didn't have to acknowledge my birthday at all, yet he still did
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sugarmomma
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gaudi
I got a happy xmas text from the Ex on christmas day too.
I have a feeling it had more to do with the fact that I hadn't been in touch with her for a while, she came back from a 2 week break on christmas eve (this really helped with the NC), and I'm pretty sure she sent it because I hadn't been getting in touch asking how her holiday had been.
We had ended things pretty amicably though, I texted back wishing merry xmas to you too. Gonna leave it at that.
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adamt
I didnt get anything from my ex. broke up 7 months ago. Dont know what is worst getting something from the ex and playing with your mind or getting nothing and feeling sad that someone can just wipe you out of their life so easily.
i'm off work for 10 days, its the first time since the before the break up that i have a bit of spare time and she is on my mind this week. I just want to get the holidays out of the way. its hard to not reflect on this time last year and not knowing that things were going to end.
i have a couple of dates lined up in january so cant wait to get this time off out of the way and look ahead to 2022. 2009 has been a terrible year, not just me but for many people. the ex even lost her mom just before she dumped me.
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gaudi
Well I suppose in my case if I hadn't heard anything from her, it might have made me wonder if she even got back from her holiday OK. I was expecting a text on christmas day and I got it. I haven't been back in touch with her since though, nor she with me. I suppose it is good that she got in touch, because it happened the way I expected it to.
Good luck with your dates though adamt, I've got one tomorrow...fingers crossed !!!
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skydiveaddict
Edited December 29, 2009 by skydiveaddict
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Back2dabasics
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adamt
well i had a dream with her in it last night. we were laid in bed and she was saying how she made a mistake and had wanted to be back together for a while. I've got to keep myself busy to take my mind off her. i hate wasting holidays but i just want to get back to work and keep myself occupied. its a tough time at the moment and i'm sure there are plenty of people out there going through the same stuff. I just never thought it would be this hard. Sometimes it feels like some kind of mental illness. I am dreading New year's eve, just get me into 2022!
Ever seen the film, Sunshine of a spotless mind. How great would that be if we could wipe them from our memories. If the dumper and dumpee did it, i wonder what would happen if we both met again in the street as if it was the first time.
Edited December 29, 2009 by adamtShare on other sites
gaudi
Ever seen the film, Sunshine of a spotless mind. How great would that be if we could wipe them from our memories. If the dumper and dumpee did it, i wonder what would happen if we both met again in the street as if it was the first time.
Try not thinking about that mate, because the first time you met has been and gone. But the next person you meet, it will be the first time, and that's gotta be something to look forward to...
#2
7 years ago
do you want him back?
#3
Confused
7 years ago
That is something I haven't figured out. I'm emotionally drained right now. I did want him back like hell right after the break up. The NC period just made me think and cry but I always end up confused. It all started with my folks objecting to my relationship. But I defended him right through. His folks had no problem with me. But he kept saying they wouldn't be comfortable dealing with my "huge" family. They would just prefer "me" and not my family cos that's how his bro got married. According to him we had a lot of differences. And only i was willing to see past that. On the night of the break up he mentioned that he never really had feelings for me and a bunch of other sickening
. Getting back with me was a mistake. He said its best for both of us to part ways and end it now instead of waiting till things get worse like we marry and then divorce. I was in disbelief for the next few days. A 4 year relationship was all a lie ?! Kept asking him for a real reason to which he said he was not ready for a huge responsibility of a relationship. Thatme off completely cos he was the one who used to blame me saying I'm the one not to fit to be in a relationship cos I'm a filial daughter and not allowed to date n all. Inspite of the home rules of "no dating allowed" I went out with him whenever he asked me and when I got caught he ran. I do have a bit of false hope even now.I want to move on and show him I'm tough. My friends do see him as ancos he dumped me twice when I needed him to be responsible for our relationship. They are all against me taking him back even if he comes. Oh forgot to mention one of the crappiest things he said while breaking up was ask me if I would ever take him back if he missed me. I was strong for a second, I said "if it ends now then it ends for good !" but I kept crying and changed my mind in the next second "yea ! I would take you back " God!!...dialogues...hate myself !I guess my heart wants him but my brain says he's bad for me.
#4
Confused
7 years ago
anybody around ? I don't have much time !!
#5
7 years ago
just say happy birthday and leave it at that.
#6
Confused
7 years ago
what if i don't ? does that ruin all chances of us getting back together ?
#7
7 years ago
Dear confused,
I understand your situation. What you can do is out of common courtesy is wish him happy birthday. You mentioned how its in your nature to acknowledge formal and important events, so go on ahead do your thang, however, please make clear it is only a platonic action you've made. You can convey this by not invoking the intimate part of the relationship like you two once had. This is not suggested, why? You need to exclude the intimate part cause in by doing so sends less, intense emotions that are tied or and associated to him. Lastly whatever happens from there needs to be appropriately weighed. Meaning really think of the causation effect ( cause and effect)
I want to add, with human's hearts actively participating is never set in stone people Constantly change. So be wry of him, but be solid and sure in your decisions.
(Thumbs up if I helped)
Those may interest you:
#8
Confused
7 years ago
yea I guess I gotta learn to do that. wish him n go back to NC...but this just delays my healing process. My folks are on the lookout for guys for me right now, totally against my wishes though they have their best interests at heart. How do I deal with the birthdays in future ? Like if I'm in another relationship ? And I certainly wouldn't like wishing him if he gets into another relationship. He wont need my wishes anymore. I don't think he needs it now too.
#9
7 years ago
With time you will grow apart, yet I want you to know you mustn't make it an obligation or priorities to continue this process. Since This scenario delays your healing process, your best bet would be to avoid the continuum of it, and set your self first priority. I don't see this benefitting you in any shape or form by making this habit to go out of your way and do this for him. What you should do in your time is conveniently when you feel it is right to do so make a minor effort but if its out of you way? That's all the evidence you need to tell you. Slow down, carry on, brace yourself and prepare for life's secret wonders. Don't waste your time on things that are reversing your recovery and welfare.
Thumbs up if I helped!
Just because the two of you are no longer together doesn’t always mean you should be enemies. The birthday of your ex is a perfect opportunity to let them know that despite the fact that the romantic relationship turned sour and you have gone your separate ways, you still think about them and care. You can even use their birthday as an opportunity to make peace with them and try to reignite the relationship once again, provided that they are still not seeing anyone.
Below are some really cool birthday wishes that you can send to your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife as he or she marks another chapter in their life.
• Birthday Wishes for my Ex Boyfriend
• Birthday Wishes for my Ex Girlfriend
• Birthday Greetings for my Ex Husband
• Birthday Messages for my Ex Wife
Birthday Wishes for my Ex Boyfriend
• The fact that we are no more together will never take away the fact that you will always be special to my heart. Happy birthday.
• Wishing the most loving guy I’ve ever known a blissful birthday celebration. I can’t deny the fact that my heart misses you badly. How I wish we never went our separate ways.
• I hope we can put all the bitterness away and remember the reasons we loved each other. Happy birthday.
• I tried to make you happy, but I guess my efforts weren’t enough. I hope you find someone who gives you the happiness you are looking for. But meanwhile, do have a happy birthday.
• Happy birthday, dear. You’ll always occupy a special place in my heart even though we are currently living separate lives.
• Today is your Big Day. I hope you celebrate it to the max. Please free yourself from the guilt of breaking my heart because I have forgiven you. Have a wonderful day.
• I may not have turned out to be the love of your life but I wish you find your Sleeping Beauty soon, and when you do find her, I hope that she treats you with all the love and respect that you deserve. Happy birthday.
• Best wishes to a phenomenal person on his birthday. How I wish I could undo all the hurt I caused you. I hope that one of these days you find a place in your heart to forgive me for all that I’ve done because I am truly sorry.
• You still mean so much to me even though you left me heartbroken. I wish you find happiness in whoever you have found to call your own. Happy birthday, dear.
• Thank you for still being my best friend despite all the hurt I have caused your heart. All I wish for in life is to have another chance to right all my wrongs. Wishing you a happy birthday with loads of love.
Birthday Wishes for my Ex Girlfriend
• It’s a shame I couldn’t be the one for you. On your birthday, I pray that you will find someone who would love and cherish you all the days of your life. Have a beautiful day.
• As you blow the candles on your cake, my heart wants you to know something. It wants you to know that it misses you like crazy. Happy birthday.
• I try to completely erase you from my memory, but no matter how much I try, I just can’t seem to do that. Could this be because this heart of mine beats only for you? Happy birthday.
• Babe, you have no idea the things I would do just to get one more chance to be with you and hold you in my arms again. Happy birthday.
• What has happened has happened. There is no need to hate and despise each other for our failed love. I still care about you and will never stop loving you. As you turn a new age today, I wish you a life filled to the brim with beauty and happiness. Happy birthday.
• My heart has survived the demise of our relationship but I don’t think it can survive the end of our friendship. Happy birthday.
• I can accept the fact that I am no longer your Prince Charming, but what my heart can’t stand is to no longer be your friend. Happy birthday.
• I would like to move on in life, but I can’t because I’m still in love with you. Please take me back, and let’s live happily together once again. Happy birthday.
Birthday Greetings for my Ex Husband
• Happy birthday, my dear. If we loved again, I promise I’d never let you down. I miss you so much and wish you could give me one more chance to make things right.
• You might have moved on, but do know that this heart of mine still loves and misses you. I will never stop caring for you, my dear. Happy birthday.
• I wish I was enveloped in your arms right now, but I guess those arms now belong to someone else. I hope she brings you the happiness that you have been chasing after. Happy birthday.
• Happy birthday, dear. Celebrate today knowing that I pray for you all the time and I miss you so much. I hope all the things you dream of materialize.
• Your birthday will always be a special day for me because you are special to me. The truth is I have never loved and cared for any one as much as I have loved and cared for you. You’re such a wonderful man, and it is such a shame we couldn’t make it work. Happy birthday to my ex husband.
• You tore me apart and broke my heart, but I forgive you and wish you well in life because I still care about you. Happy birthday.
• What wouldn’t I do to have you in my life once again? I will walk across the hottest desert, swim across the largest ocean, and climb the highest mountain on earth just to get the chance to be with you again. Happy birthday, my love.
Birthday Messages for my Ex Wife
• My intentions were to love you always and forever. Even though we are not together anymore, my intentions still remain the same. Happy birthday.
• If I could get one more opportunity to be in your life, I would do things differently. I would tell you and I would show you how much you mean to me every blessed day. I miss you so much. Happy birthday.
• Wishing a happy birthday to the woman, who once made me feel like the luckiest man in the world. Hope you have a beautiful day.
• I miss our sweet conversations. I miss your sweet kisses. I miss you so terribly it is killing me. Happy birthday.
• The truth is, I love you and I always will. You might not be mine anymore but the truth remains the same. Happy birthday.
• I reserved a special place in my heart for you from the very first day I met you. We might not be together today, but that space can never be filled by anyone else because you still occupy it. Happy birthday.
• I promised to love you forever, and even now that we are no longer together, I don’t intend breaking that promise. Happy birthday.
• You were my endless love, my pillar of support and my best friend. We might not be each husband and wife anymore but please let’s not allow anything destroy our beautiful friendship. Happy birthday.
• We might be living separate lives, but I will continue to always be there for you through thick and thin because you are such a wonderful woman. Happy birthday.