Funny 50th Birthday Wishes: Sending funny birthday wishes to your dear ones is one of the most effective ways to bring a smile to their faces on their birthdays. But being funny in cards or text messages not so easy. You have to find the right words and know how to use them in funny 50th birthday card messages. Here are some examples of funny and hilarious 50th birthday wishes for someone who is celebrating his/her 50th birthday. Pick the one that suits your taste and send it right away to make a difference, to make your birthday wish stand out among so many of them.
Funny 50th Birthday Wishes
Happy 50th birthday! You're aging like wine. Congratulations!
Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and John Bon Jovi have already turned 50 and now one more superstar has joined the club. Happy 50th birthday!
You're just 35 with 15 bonus years. Wishing you a Happy 50th birthday!
You are halfway to a hundred but that doesnāt guarantee you will live that long. Happy 50th birthday.
You're no longer the oldest person I know in their 40's. Now you're the youngest 50-year-old I know.
Now that you're 50 you've probably got more hair where you don't want it and less hair where you do want it. You can't fight it but at least you can still let your hair down and have fun on your birthday!
If you were a dog, you would be 213 years old. So, donāt feel so bad about your age. At least youāre aging like a human. Happy 50th!
Your 40's are behind you now, so you should have your midlife crisis out of your system. Be proud! You wear it well!
If you can blow up all your birthday balloons, then you will officially earn the right of calling yourself young at fifty. Happy 50th birthday.
Happy birthday and congratulations, you're halfway to a telegram from the Queen. In the meantime, put your feet up and enjoy the rewards from all the hard work you put in during your 20s, 30s and 40s.
Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old.
Every single birthday of yours is a reminder for me that Iām not the oldest person here! Happy 50th, cheers!
It's just about gaining few more grey hairs than me, nothing else to be worried about. Happy 50th birthday!
I hope you already saved enough money for retirement. It's time to count them all. Happy 50th birthday!
Thanks for reminding me that Iām not as old as you. Happy Birthday you old fart!
You can't hide your age to others. Your hair is turning gray, and wrinkles appearing. So, tell the truth, is it your 50th, or you're lying.
Funny 50th Birthday Messages
Donāt ever bother spending money on anti-aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion. Happy birthday old-timer.
As you turn 50 you can age as gracefully as you like ā flaunt your grays and wrinkles or use modern technology to hide them. Whichever path you choose, it only happens once so do it well and have a wonderful birthday!
You are half a century, or 5 decades, or 50 years, or 600 months, or 2609 weeks, or 18262 days, or 438288 hours, or 26297280 minutes, or 1577836800 minutes old, depending on what unit of measure you are using. Hey, at least I didn't figure it out for seconds. Happy 50th birthday!
As we grow older, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, youād still understand if I didnāt buy you a gift right? Cheers to you on your special day!
The older you get, the brighter your cake becomes. See? Itās all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing!
Now the rest of your life will depend on whether you have fun by being nifty, or you become bored by being thrifty. The choice is yours. Happy 50th birthday.
It is never too late to grow up and stop being stupid. Maybe your 50th birthday is your chance to do just that. Happy birthday.
Midlife crisis is a label that is given to fifty year olds to stop them from being the best they can. Forget these labels and enjoy life to the fullest. Happy birthday.
Donāt worry about getting older. You can still go for facelifts to wipe out the wrinkles. Happy birthday!
Youāve got half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesomeā¦ if you could remember any of it.
I would make a joke about how old youāre getting, but Iām worried that if I hurt your feelings I might not get a chance to apologize to you since you are getting so old. Happy 50th!
Happy 50th birthday! In your fifties, you can forget about mortgages, contraception, and school fees. You'll probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you'll have an excuse.
Funny 50th Birthday Quotes
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. ā Melanie White
By fifty, youāve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
Turning 50 means it's only a matter of time before you're regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. ā Greg Tamblyn
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule. ā Greg Tamblyn
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until youāre fifty, youāll see. Well, I'm fifty. I havenāt seen anything. ā Eric Satie
Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I canāt remember where I put my keys. ā Melanie White
Iām aiming by the time Iām fifty to stop being an adolescent. ā Wendy Cope
At 50, youāve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. ā Phyllis Diller
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didnāt you? ā Melanie White
The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned. ā Cindy Crawford
Youāve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, "I just ferment my food now. ā Henry Green
Iām 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. ā Melanie White
50th Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
Thanks for reminding me that Iām not as old as you. Happy 50th birthday!
Youāve been in your thirties so many years. Iām quite unsure about your age this year. Maybe it's the fifty. Happy birthday anyway!
Something special in you always helps you stand out in a crowd. Thatās your age!
I believe youāre here since the dawn of time. Dinosaurs have gone extinct, but you are still here. Congratulations to you and happy 50th birthday, of course!
A man never gets older, he can only get wiser. Remember this quote forever, and youāll never feel sad. Happy birthday!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Her
Iām good with numbers, and your age always fascinates me. I believe youāve been here since the beginning of this universe!
I always get my inspiration from you. Youāre such a strong and courageous woman. I donāt think anyone else survived the dinosaurs except you!
Today you have achieved a milestone. A 50-year older woman 50th birthday to my favorite old and not so wise lady!
Growing older and growing wiser are two different cases. And I donāt blame you for that. Happy birthday my sweetheart!
I hope to celebrate your 50th birthday for many more years to come. Hereās a happy birthday from me for year one!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Mom
For me, your birthday is like a national holiday. Whatever I do and wherever I maybe, Iāll always find ways to wish you happy birthday!
Dear Mom, I hope you know how hard it is to find you a birthday gift every year because you have too many birthdays! Just kidding. Happy 50th birthday to you!
Donāt ever let dad say you are getting old. Youāre still as youthful and gorgeous as you were in your thirties. Happy 50th birthday, mom!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Dad
I wonder what your friends would gift you on your birthdays when you were my age? Ancient papyrus greeting cards?
I know it hurts to see people enjoying the fact that you are getting older and greyer. But you are not getting younger anyway. Happy 50th birthday, dad!
Today, so many people will bring gifts for you. But since it's difficult for you to keep all the gifts, Iām thinking of helping you by keeping them all.
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Wife
I prayed to God to make you older and wiser. Only the first one came true. Happy birthday my love. Wishing God bless you with the second one as soon as possible.
I know it's hard to enjoy being old when you are old. But, hey, itās okay if you ask me. I had just passed the same line a few years ago. Happy 50th birthday!
From now on, you can enjoy all your senior citizen discounts, just like me. Happy 50th birthday and best wishes to you!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Husband
Today is the day you can pretend to be young even though youāre not. Happy 50th birthday, my love.
Half of our budget for celebrating your birthday went to buying candles. Try getting younger or stop getting more birthdays!
Iāve known you for so many years, and I must admit that you are much older today than you were when we first met. Happy 50th birthday, dear!
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings
You know youāre 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head. ā Melanie White
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was in 1978, but the time machine was booked. ā Jean Sorensen
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me. ā Janet Periat
Happy 50th ā the years look good on you! But then, I donāt see as well as I used to. ā Melanie White
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. ā Sir Norman Wisdom
My 50th birthday wish: that I had as much silver in my safe as I have in my hair. ā Melanie White
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven.
In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match. ā East of Sweden
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments. ā Melanie White
When I turn 50, instead of lying about my age and putting it back 10 years, I'll put it forward 10 years so I can freely talk about my bowel movements. ā Thrill Tweeter
Now that Iām 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony. ā Greg Tamblyn
Now that Iām 50, people try to be polite, and instead of calling me old, they say Iām mature. Obviously they donāt know me very well. ā Melanie White
Birthdays are the most joyful occasion anyone can ever have. Itās a great occasion to bring a smile to the daces of your loved ones by sending some hilariously funny wishes. You donāt always have to possess great humor to be funny. You just have to know the right words and combine them in your sentences to make a wish full of great humor. Our collection of funny 50th birthday wishes will surely help you make your loved one laugh on their 50th birthday. Donāt miss any opportunity to make them laugh and realize how special they are to you and how important it is to bring a big smile to their faces.
We can all agree that one of the greatest gifts you can give someone on their birthday is a good wholehearted laugh.
The laughter shared between friends and family can make memories of a birthday last longer, the presents more meaningful, and the cake even sweeter!
Even if you are not known for humor, funny birthday sayings or a hilarious poem can bring a smile to anyoneās face on their special day.
Below you will find a list of funny birthday quotes that are certain to make your loved one laugh the loudest on their big dayā¦
The Best Funny Birthday Quotes
"A few days ago, it was my birthday, and it was in the newspaper, and growing up I never would have guessed that a) my name would be in the newspaper, and b) that I might outlast those papers." -Emo Philips
"We must both, I'm afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old carsāmore and more repairs and replacements are necessary." -C. S. Lewis
"For my birthday, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out." -Steven Wright
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." -Mark Twain
"Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons." -Eli Cass
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, āSee if you can blow this out." -Jerry Seinfeld
"There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know." -Lewis Carroll
"I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time Iām one year older, everyone else is too." -Gloria Swanson
"Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese." -Luis Bunuel
"Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?" -Bobby Kelton
"Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty." -James Thurber
"Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again." -Eleanor Roosevelt
"Light bulbs on a birthday cake.
What a difference that would make!
Plug it in and make a wish,
then relax and flip a switch!
No more smoke
or waxy mess
to bother any birthday guests.
But Grampa says, "itās not the same!
Whereās the magic?
Whereās the flame?
To get your wish without a doubt,
You need to blow some candles out!""
-Calef Brown (Birthday Lights)
"Letās just say you may regret that second piece of cake. Oh my God. Regret cake? Whatever was about to happen must be truly evil." -Rachel Hawkins
"You've heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you're looking wonderful." -Francis Spellman
"Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature." -Harold Coffin
"I explained birthday cake as a spongy mattress of awesome with hidden rivers of delicious goo to celebrate having stayed alive a whole year." -Kira Jane Buxton
"The best way to remember your wifeās birthday is to forget it once." -E. Joseph Cossman
"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime." -Germaine Greer
"Your favorite kind of cake canāt be birthday cake. Thatās like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal." āTom Haverford, Parks and Recreation
"At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage." -John Holmes
āYou grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.ā -Ethel Barrymore
"One bright morning in a restaurant in Chicago
as I waited for my eggs and toast,
I opened the Tribune only to discover
that I was the same age as Cheerios.
Indeed, I was a few months older than Cheerios
for today, the newspaper announced,
was the seventieth birthday of Cheerios
whereas mine had occurred earlier in the year.
Already I could hear them whispering
behind my stooped and threadbare back,
Why that dude's older than Cheerios
the way they used to say.
Why that's as old as the hills,
only the hills are much older than Cheerios
or any American breakfast cereal,
and more noble and enduring are the hills,
I surmised as a bar of sunlight illuminated my orange juice."
-Billy Collins (Cheerios)
"The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive." -G.K. Chesterton
"One compensation of old age is that it excuses you from picnics." -William Feather
"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty." -Robert Frost
"At four-score years old age begins,
And not till then, I warn my wife;
At eighty I'll recant my sins,
And live a staid and sober life.
But meantime let me whoop it up,
And tell the world that I'm alive:
Fill to the brim the bubbly cup ā
Here's health to
Seventy-and-five!"
-Robert William Service (Birthday)
"My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it." -Boris Johnson
"Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty." -Coco Chanel
"Today you are ten.
But, with that
Sly smile and
Those knowing eyes,
You are
Going on twenty.
That sparkle in
Your blue eyes,
That false pout,
That mischievous
Laugh and
Kind spirit
Make me glad
You are
My friend."
-Raymond A. Foss (Happy Birthday My Friend)
"Put candles in a cake, itās a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebodyās drunk in the kitchen." -Jim Gaffigan
"I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." -Bernard M. Baruch
When people invite me to birthday parties, they never have to hire a clown.
May the most challenging aspect of your birthday be deciding what flavor of cake you want.
My best friends are the ones who turn my pity parties into birthday parties. Of course, when it is my birthday, they make it feel like a federal holiday.
Cake doesnāt have to be a lie on your birthday. The truth is, thereās no such thing as a quality party without your favorite cake for dessert! And for breakfast, lunch, dinnerā¦
Hereās a brief list of what ages well: a croonerās voice, a bottle of chianti, a good novel, and someoneās taste in the previous three. Happy birthday! Hope you have a day worth the new age youāre becoming.
I donāt think thereās anything more fun than balloon animals at birthday parties. Well, at least we donāt have actual bears and elephants floating around the house.
Whenever you start having doubts about your age, remember that you can do whatever you want and tell others what to do, regardless of how many candles will be on your cake this year. Sending you lots of birthday wishes and laughs.
Parties can turn pool noodles into jousting swords and living rooms into palace halls. Just give it a try; anythingās possible on birthdays, so they say. Happy birthday!
You know youāre going to have a great birthday when someone bakes you a cake as large as Uncle Buckās birthday pancakes!
It is said that life goes by faster as you get older, but turns out that your body gets slower, too. Except on your birthday.
When youāre young, you tend to worry more about how you look. When you get older, however, you begin to worry more about how you feel. If you feel great, youāre guaranteed to look as amazing as ever. (So donāt be self-conscious about how much you party today.)
Whatās great about having a birthday on a major holiday is that you can pretend millions of people are raising their glasses to you. If youāre not born on a holiday, then all the sweets are kept for yourself. Happy birthday!
āI don't want to alarm anyone, but I think there's a little al-key-hol in this punch!ā -Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)
"Everything slows down with age; except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips." -John Wagner
Even if you feel as stale as days-old cake, thereās no point not to treat yourself well on your birthday. While favorite sweets might not last, human beauty is nonperishable!
Celebrate your birthday like youāre that character in a soap opera who has all the wacky ideas and crazy best friends.
Why do we have birthdays only once a year? Weāre getting older every day, so why not start feeling better about ourselves and party a little while weāre at it?
Over the years, surprise parties change from friends spooking you in your living room to counting how many birthdays youāve had in your past. The more youāve had, the more celebrated youāve been. Wear that with pride, happy birthday!
Happy birthday! If you have any worries about the future, save your regrets for the day after the party (even though the party doesnāt ever have to stop).
Every day, itās somebodyās birthday. Even if youāre not invited to their party, you can still buy a cake and have a dance party in your room.
Enjoy your birthday as much as Bacchus loved his wine. Share it with friends and roll on the floor laughing all night.
The only thing that gets old is talk of getting old. Birthdays are the best days ever, so celebrate each one with everything you got, and more.
When weāre young, we want tickets to our favorite movie, concert, or sports team. As soon as weāre adults, scratch tickets will do. I hope you win big today, whatever that may mean.
I hope your birthday sparkles like a bottle of top-shelf champagne! Thereās truly never enough champagne to go around on a day as special as yoursā¦
If you ever get trick candles on your cake, think of it as a good thing because that way, you can make more than one wish. Happy birthday!
My favorite way to celebrate the day is to blurt out the happy birthday song as loudly as I can while we are sitting in the dining room of a fancy restaurant. On the bright side, you get a standing ovation and free dessert!
On each birthday, what if we bought the same amount of cakes as our age instead of candles? There might be a bit of a problem down the roadā¦
While some people dread birthdays, I must confess that I love mine so much, I become a one-man paradeāeven when it rains.
Life goes by quickly, but thatās okay; as long as it doesnāt go down as fast as martinis do, youāre probably doing things right. I raise my glass to you, happy birthday.
When I say I want my birthday to be priceless, I donāt mean "priced less." Standards donāt have to shrink the way we do when we age! Happy birthday!
Guessing someoneās age on their birthday is almost as precarious as messing up the cake or getting the wrong gift.
When you said youād like to have a birthday toast, I thought you meant jam on a warm piece of wheat breadā¦Hereās to you, with an extra side of butter!
Happy birthday to you and another full year of failing to dissuade you from doing wildāand potentially dangerousāthings.
Happy birthday! Iāll be that one friend who doesnāt embarrass you by singing the whole song. Instead, Iāll be the one to tell all the terrible jokes while you open gifts.
They say that sharing is caring, but when itās your birthday, you donāt have to share, nor do you have to care about keeping all the sweets to yourself.
ā¢ 21st Birthday Quotes: Turning 21 call for streamers, cake, and perhaps a bottle of champagne! Top the celebration off with one of these amazing and funny birthday quotes!
ā¢ Happy 30th Birthday: Do you know someone who is turning 30? Make them smile with one of our wonderful messages about this coming-of-age celebration.
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Read our collection of over 50 religious birthday wishes and prayers to help you celebrate your loved ones on their birthday with the Lord's blessings.
Birthdays