Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, ‘I love you, and I wish you enough.’
They kissed and the daughter left. The father walked over to the window where I was seated. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but I could not refrain from asking:
‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?’
He began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.’
He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more.
‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’
Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.
Pain in life sooner or later will have an upside, and the highs in life don't last forever, so don't take them for granted. Appreciate every moment.
I wish you enough.
Perfect, Simple Plan
"And now I try hard to make it. I just wanna make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you. Can't pretend that I'm alright."
Some people grow up in families where the parents have extreme expectations of success for their kids.
They may end up putting pressure on the kids and making them feel bad if they don’t measure up to these standards.
Since its release in 2003, this song has become an anthem for those who do not feel supported by their parents.
Being Good Isn't Good Enough, Barbra Streisand
"Being good isn't good enough. Being good won't be good enough. When I fly, I must fly extra high. And I'll need special wings so far to go, from so far below."
If you’re the type of person who sets high standards for yourself, you might relate to this track from Barbra Streisand.
Sometimes, the drive to always produce excellent work comes from an underlying fear that what one does might not be good enough.
Rather than enjoying the process of creating something, you always worry that someone will think that the work you produce is inadequate.
This is a reminder to cut yourself some slack.
Perfect, Alanis Morissette
"Be a good girl. You've gotta try a little harder. That simply wasn't good enough to make us proud."
Here is another song about not measuring up to parental approval.
In Perfect, Alanis Morissette sings of times when a person feels that he or she has to earn the love of their parents.
It’s a heartbreaking song that helps us realize that a lot of people are made to feel inadequate. What’s most heartbreaking is that, often, the people who make us feel that way are the ones who are closest to us.
Pretty Hurts, Beyoncé
"Blonder hair, flat chest. TV says, “bigger is better”. South beach, sugar free. Vogue says, “thinner is better”."
In this song, Beyoncé shows us how mass media shapes our perception of beauty. Because of this, many of us feel that we don’t measure up.
Sadly, in a bid to be accepted, there are some people who take drastic measures. It takes courage to be yourself and live free from the impossible standards set by the media.
Good Enough (Empire OST), Jussie Smollett
"I just want you to look at me, and see that I can be worth your love. I just want you to look at me, and see that I can be good enough…"
This official soundtrack from the Empire series is about the strained relationship between a father and son. Jussie Smollett’s on-screen father has issues with Smollett’s character being gay.
This song expresses Smollett’s character’s pain and frustration at the rejection he receives from his father.
If you have ever been made to feel that you’re not good enough, this song will likely resonate with you.
I Wish I Were You, Alisha's Attic
"I wish I were you. I wish I could wear your shoes. I wish I could think from your brain. I wish I were you. Yes I do."
Sometimes we encounter someone we perceive as being the epitome of perfection. We feel inferior and wish we could be like them and receive the attention that they get from others.
You Say, Lauren Daigle
"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough. Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up."
For those who experience impostor syndrome, it can sometimes be very difficult to recognize their own brilliance. There will always be a negative, self-deprecating thought that shoots down any good feelings they get from their achievements.
This song is about the incredible feeling of having someone remind you that you are a wonderful person.
I sincerely hope that you have a person like that in your life: someone who appreciates your beauty and helps you discover your own brilliance.
Invisible, Skylar Grey
"Even when I'm walking on a wire. Even when I set myself on fire. Why do I always feel invisible, invisible? Every day I try to look my best. Even though inside I'm such a mess. Why do I always feel invisible, invisible?"
This song describes how some people feel, walking around thinking that they’re not good enough.
To them, they feel invisible. No matter what they do or what effort they make, it seems like no one is paying attention.
Unpretty, TLC
"You can buy your hair if it won't grow. You can fix your nose if he says so. You can buy all the makeup that M. A. C. can make. But if you can't look inside you. Find out who am I to be in the position that make me feel so d**n unpretty…"
This song is about casting off the feeling that you are not good enough and discovering that you are worth far more than what others make you believe
If you’re looking for a song that blasts self-doubt out of the water, then you might want to consider adding this track from TLC to your playlist.
Every Little Thing, Dishwalla
"But I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away. Will you find out who you are too late to change? I wish I could be every little thing you wanted. All the time. I wish I could be every little thing you wanted all the time. Sometimes."
They Just Keep Moving the Line (SMASH OST), Megan Hilty
"So talent and ambition won me a chance to shine. I aced the big audition. But it's rainin' on Cloud Nine. Can't beat the competition. ‘Cause they just keep moving the line."
You can really hear Megan Hilty’s frustration as she sings this single from the SMASH series. It’s about never being able to win because the standards are always being changed.
Chasing Pavements, Adele
"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere. Or would it be a waste? Even if I knew my place should I leave it there? Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere."
Here is another song about being treated poorly in a toxic relationship.
In this song, the person is wondering whether they should give up their dignity and continue with the relationship, or if it is finally time to walk away and regain their sense of self-worth.
Wish I Could Be Her, K. Michelle
"I wish that I could be her. She's the one that makes you smile… And I wish that I could meet her. She's the one who has your heart."
Finally, here is a song about wishing you were the person that your partner or object of affection is in love with.
It tells the painful story of a partner’s actions when interacting with the "other" person, and seeing them so happy that you begin to wish you were the other woman.
Final Thoughts
There will be instances in life when you’ll be made to feel inadequate. To counter this, it is important to learn to love yourself
Self-love leads to self-acceptance, which brings awareness of your own strengths, limitations, and dreams. This is a powerful force that helps you walk away from any situation where you’re made to feel you’re not good enough.
We hope you are inspired by this collection of songs about not being good enough. May they serve as a reminder that you are not alone in feeling this way.
For more resources on self-love, check out the following posts:
In addition, you might want to visit any of the following posts for articles about songs for specific topics:
Mate. First of all, the important thing here.
You. Are. Good. Enough.
We are all different. If you look at the chances of us being the way we are, they are practically nonexistent. However we are precisely that. We can be funny and social and outgoing. But we don't HAVE to be, and that's the beauty of it.
You are saying you want to be invited to social gatherings. Do you? It's a lot of work to socially gather, you know.
If you are comfortable being with a few people... be with the few people.
If you are comfortable in a big social gathering... invite yourself. "Uh, listen, I heard there's that party at yours and I think you lost my invite." For example.
Just. The important thing. Check your feelings. Don't hide sadness behind anger.
Also. Who told you that being alone is bad? When you are alone you can do whatever you want, without checking with anyone. Want to read? Read. Want to hit the movies? Hey, check it. Call that girl (or guy) you like, and invite THEM. May be they really want you to?
And again.
You are good enough. You ARE good enough. You just are good. I strongly believe that there aren't really bad people. Only those that forgot.
And no. I don't have anything to do with god(s).
D.
I Wish I was Good Enough
I wish I was good enough. Good enough for what? Anything: friends, love, intimacy, physical contact, to get invited somewhere, to have a good future, to have success…even if I had a few of these things I would be a lot happier. But no, of course, those things are not for me. I am ugly, I am dumb, I have no charisma, I am self-absorbed, I am obsessive, I have no social skills, I am boring, I am unfunny…how will I ever not be alone when this is the case? Why would anyone ever be attracted to me? I wouldn’t like me, that’s for sure. I just have nothing that people would be attracted to, and it shows in my general life experience. Nobody has EVER been attracted to me, nobody has EVER liked me, none of my friends want to hang out with me, none of them value me or think I am funny or cool or interesting. I just want a hug, I want to be held, loved, kissed, I want someone to hold my face and tell me I am good, that I am ok, that they love me with all their heart. But of course, no, that is not for me.
And why is that? Well, I know I am NOT entitled to love or romance or friendship or dating, I KNOW it is my responsibility to be good enough, but I DO NOT KNOW HOW. I try to work on my appearance-groom my eyebrows, style my hair, go to the gym; I got medication and therapy but it didn’t work; I work really hard in school and at work but I have nothing to show for it…why am I not good enough? What am I doing wrong? I don’t get it, why must I be cursed to be alone for my whole life? I am, the evidence suggests, completely and utterly without value. If I had value then people would love me, they would want to hang out with me, then THEY would see value in myself. How can I have self-worth when nobody else sees me as having any worth either? Of course I seek validation and acceptance from my peers, I am human, and I cannot be happy if I am just completely bloody isolated my whole life for the sole reason that I’m NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO GET PEOPLE TO LIKE ME!
There is someone, who ostensibly is one of my best friends, that I am utterly in love with, honestly to an unhealthy and obsessive amount at this point. We used to talk daily and have good banter and crap for about 8 years, but now they barely even talk to me, they leave me on "read" for days at a time, and when they do reply it’s only one or two words. What did I do wrong? Why don’t they even want to be friends with me anymore? I asked them out many months ago and even though they said no (again, I have no attractive features and am not good enough for her. It’s all my fault for not being good enough and I don’t know how I can be happy with this true) but we still remained fine friends and nothing seemed to have changed until recently. They are just perfect, how can I get over them? They are kind, beautiful, funny, thoughtful, caring, and so on, they have been my best(ish) friends for so long but I am still not good enough to be attractive to them. Not good enough to be attractive to anyone in fact, hell now I’m apparently not even good enough to be their friend anymore! I don’t know how to get over them, they are just perfect in almost every way, I love them so much I just want to hold her and say I love you I love you I love you and I want to be good enough for her. I think of her every time I close my eyes, the few times she bothers messaging me back these days are the only good parts of my day, just seeing a picture of her is like a shot of pure electricity, everything and everyone else pales in comparison, everything just seems grey and flat and empty except for her. I know I’m not "entitled" to her, I respect her feelings on the matter (though I wish she’d at least tell me why she doesn’t talk to me that much anymore tbh), but that doesn’t make it suck any less when the person you love, more than you’ve ever loved anyone before, does not think you are even worthy of friendship let alone love. Talking to her is the only time I feel alive these days, the only time I feel like I have purpose and reason to be alive, but I fucked it up by firstly not being good enough for her to love me back and secondly to not be good enough for her to want to be friends with me anymore, since apparently after 8 years of friendship I’m not even worth an explanation as to what I’m doing so wrong that she doesn’t want to PLATONICALLY talk with me anymore like we were doing fine for months after I asked her out back in…around early May?
I want to be good enough, I want to apologise to everyone (especially her) for not being enough, for being worthless and shit and miserable and bitter and clingy and boring. I try so hard to forge some sort of purpose or happiness or social relationship(s) in this world but I fail every time, I don’t know what I can do better, I’m trying to hard man, I just want to die because I know I’ll never be happy and because of my inalienable lack of good qualities I’ll be alone forever. This is unbearable, every single waking second, I have a deep heavy pit in my stomach that permeates throughout my whole body, an intense overwhelming unbearable psychological pain that completely overcomes me and cripples me, making it impossible to enjoy anything (not that I ever have anyway) or even to function. I just wish I was good enough for her, good enough for anyone, good enough for myself…
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I've been there, mate and it pains me to see you going through this. We're all just humans and living out our lives is all we can ever do. Realising you're facing issues and trying to improve for the sake of yourself and others means you're doing great, in my opinion. I'ts hard when you hit a wall in life but it doesn't make you any less of a person. There's as much going on inside your head as anyone else's, you're not inherently boring, you just need to express yourself. Maybe try loosening up a bit. When you're talking to someone, don't think about being "good enough", 'cause you already are, you just need to get it out. And maybe ask her what went wrong with your friendship. I'm sure she'd gladly give an honest opinion and whatever that is, it's probably better to just know, rather than losing hair over not knowing. I didn't have as much contact with my crush, but she just wasn't interested in me and that disinterest and the way she never directly said "no", really got to me. I know it probably sucks to hear this, but it just took time for me. I still wish something had actually happened, but it's not eating me up alive anymore. Hope everything gets better soon. Good luck, mate! I think you might be doing better than you think.
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Thank you very much for the reply. I just don't think I am good enough; how can I believe that I am when nobody has ever been attracted to me, and nobody wants to be my friend (not even those who I have known for 8 years)? I have asked her that sort of thing before but she just pussyfoots around the issue, which I guess is fair enough but it fustrates me as I think after so many years and going through so much together I deserve an explanation as to why I am no longer worth her company even platonically.
I still wish something had actually happened
If even you cannot get over feelings of regret/insufficiency, I don't think a pathetic weirdo creep like me ever will!
think you might be doing better than you think.
Trust me, I'm really not. I am 19 years old and I've never dated, had a first kiss, held someone's hand, I've hugged people but not romantically, never get invited anywhere, got no achievements, no good qualities, and so on.
Thanks for replying 🙂
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