Truth #1
You may be happy to not have to deal with your former spouse every day, but your kids may still have regular interactions that will affect them.
As long as you were still married and still living in the same house, you were still keeping an eye on each other. If your wife did something to get the kids upset, you were there to step in and mitigate the situation. If she was letting them watch inappropriate movies or keeping them up too late or letting them go to school inappropriately dressed, you still had an influence.
Once you are divorced, your kids are on their own when they spend time with her. You have no control over whom she introduces them to–or even leaves them with. She has the right to ask her alcoholic mother or her creep of a neighbor whom she scarcely knows to baby-sit.
Truth #2
You have to be much more careful with your relationship with a former spouse than with a spouse.
Let's say that you and your former spouse split time with the kids 50-50. With the approval of a judge, a custody schedule gets put in place. Now let's say your parents are coming to town and the only time they can come is your husband's weekend. If you haven't established a good relationship with him, why should he be flexible and switch weekends so the kids can see their grandparents?
Truth #3
Your life will go better when your former spouse's life goes better.
As much as you may have fantasies about your ex-wife's life going to pieces (I used to dream about pouring sugar down my ex's gas tank), remember, that is like wishing your kids' lives will also go to pieces 50% of the time. You want your kids to be happy. You want their life to be stable.
Your former spouse having a job that fulfills her, that pays well, that has benefits–all that will make your life easier. As much as you might get some secret satisfaction seeing her inconvenienced by, say, her car breaking down, it will be your kids standing in front of the school waiting to be picked up.
And even if that is not the case, you want your kids' parent to be as relaxed and happy as possible so she will have the resources of calm and patience needed for good parenting.
Truth #4
Nothing in your relationship anymore is about you being right or wrong, about things being fair or unfair: The only metric you'll care about is whether it is good for the kids or not.
When you are still in the marriage, it is important to do whatever you can to bolster the relationship because a strong marriage supports children's development. Once you are divorced, however, the first filter through which you evaluate any decision will be the effect on the kids.
That is not easy! It can be hard to see what will be best for your kids down the road.
When my ex-husband remarried, I was torn apart that another woman would be combing out my daughter's hair, reading her a bedtime story and tucking her into bed. That was my job! How could it be good for my girl that I wasn't doing that for her?
But my daughter's stepmother has given her so much–love, advice, structure, support, a different perspective. My ex-husband has been a great father but without the back-up of his new wife, I think there would have been a lot of bumps along the way.
Truth #5
Kids are able to accept a lot of changes as long as they believe that both their parents believe the change is for the best. Your job is to make your kids believe that you support your former spouse.
As broken up as I was about my ex getting remarried, I made it my job to speak well of my daughter's stepmother and to be excited for my daughter about her part in their wedding. I did my best to never burden my daughter with my doubts and fears for her.
Instead I reassured her that her stepmom would love her and do what was best for her. From time to time things happened that were pretty different from the way I would have handled them, but I would tell my daughter, your stepmom is smart and has a lot of good ideas.
Let's give this one a chance. (I am happy to say in the greater scheme of things, everything did work out).
Truth #6
Even when the kids turn 18 and the legal custody schedule expires, you will still have to deal with your children's other parent.
My second husband used to like to say, “Just wait until high school graduation. Then we won't have to play this game anymore.” Wrong. So wrong.
Once the child is free from a custody schedule, he has to decide for himself how much time to spend at mom's house and how much at dad's. What was a legal ruling becomes a question of convenience or a popularity contest. Young adults are still essentially self-centered creatures. They will gravitate to whichever house is easier.
In my daughter's case, her dad's house is easier in that it is in the town where most of her friends are. In my stepsons’ case, their mom's house is easier in that they can retreat to the basement and large screen t.v. and basically be left alone in their own man cave.
Additionally, the lack of a clear custody schedule makes it much easier for one parent to manipulate the children either with guilt or outright bribes of cars or iPhones or whatever the current hot thing to have is.
Truth #7
Even when the kids become adults and move away, you will still have to deal with your children's other parent.
You can see the list goes on.
The irony of your post-divorce life is that you want to have the best relationship possible with your child's other parent. You might like to wish her to Hades, but if your ex-spouse is not in the picture, there will be a gaping hole in your child's heart that you cannot fill.
In day-to-day life, your child might not miss her other parent, but when she gets that award or big promotion, a part of her will be thinking, “Look, Dad, what I did! Wouldn't you be proud of me?”
Your former spouse never has to become a good friend, but you should aim for someone you feel benign towards. You should work towards being generally interested in how he is doing and what is going on in his life. You should at least be warmly cordial.
Think how you might like your child's in-laws to treat you. You don't have to go out for drinks together, but you do have to make pleasant conversation at the 4th of July barbecue.
The bottom line here is that like diplomacy among nations, the more you are in natural opposition, the more important it is to work towards détente. Not only is it the surest way to protect your children, it will add to your own sense of security and well-being.
Elisabeth StittJoyful Parenting Coaching
248-8916
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What can you do to make the birthday of your dearest wife unique and memorable? She has so many roles to play: a wife, a mother, caretaker, cook, organizer, and tutor, to name a few. So keeping in mind the varied roles she plays and her tastes, you can wish her accordingly and make her day so happy and memorable that every year she eagerly waits for the day. Pamper her to the fullest and make her feel the importance of her as your soul mate. Give her the warmth, love, respect, care that she deserves. Make her feel special with these passionate birthday wishes for wife.
Happy Birthday to my Lovely Wife
Romantic Birthday Wishes for Wife
Sweet Birthday Wishes for your Wife
Funny Birthday Wishes for Wife
Short Birthday Wishes for Wife
Tips for Writing the Perfect Birthday Message for your Wife
Sweet Birthday Images for your Wife
More Birthday Wishes
Happy Birthday to my Lovely Wife
• Every year with you is even better than the last one. It’s so easy to love you. Happy Birthday, sweetheart!
• This is your special day, so every dream will come true. I wish your life be filled with happiness, love and me!
• I look at you on this birthday, and it is hard to believe another year has passed. You are as beautiful now as ever before, perhaps even more so!
• I am such a lucky man to celebrate your birthday with you. I love you now and always, my beautiful wife!
• Through the years, you have given me the gift of your heart. On your birthday, please know you have my heart and all that I can provide.
• My dear, you know I always wish you the best of what the world has to offer, and on this particular day it is no different, Happy Birthday and yours forever.
• You’ve been by my side in the best and the worst, in good health and illness, wealth and poorness, but yet, you never gave up on me. You loved me in the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. You loved me not for what I had, but for what I was. And for that, you will forever hold a special place in my heart. A place that was cut out just for you from the very first day I met you. Happy birthday!
• On the day of our wedding, I thought to myself that there would be no day where you will be more beautiful than today. On this beautiful day that is your birthday, even without all the fancy dresses and the makeup, you are so happy that your smile alone makes you more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. Happy birthday!
• The only reason I feel I am a lucky man is that I got to meet you. You have changed my life for the better, made me a happier and better man, and all it took was one smile. That smile will live in my dreams forever, even though every moment I spend with you feels like a dream, so I suppose, your smile will always be what I seek out in my life. Happy birthday, I love you!
• Happy Birthday to the woman of I love. Thank you so much for being in my life and making it so meaningful.
Romantic Birthday Wishes for Wife
• When we first decided to get married, I have to admit I was a bit scared. It was a big step for me; yet, you made it look so easy, you made all the huge steps we took in our lives look like baby steps. Your charisma makes me admire you, even more, every day. I love you, honey; you’re all a man could wish for. Happy birthday!
• You are a fantastic mother, a caring woman, a loving daughter, a beautiful and sexy wife, and a wonderful person. May you always remain as this and God showers you with all the blessings of health, wealth and prosperity.
• My love, ever since we got married, your entire life has been revolved around us, around me, and now, around the kids. You gave up so much for this family to work, and for that, I am forever grateful. And always remember that I love you till we draw our last breath. Happy birthday!
• Happy birthday to the love of my life. I can’t wait to celebrate tonight when we blow out the candles and turn out the lights.
• You are the love of my life. I cannot believe you said yes to a man like me. Seriously, I count my blessings every day that I wake up next to you. I hope you have a fantastic birthday.
• On birthdays people wish so many things, but for me, there are just two words- never and always. Always be my side and never leave me. I love you so much, darling.
• Special thanks to an angel who changed my life, you indeed made my life bliss! Happy birthday my love.
• I love you so much that words cannot express it. It is only the feelings of love, mutual respect, and care that can express my true feelings for you. Here’s wishing you a very, very Happy Birthday and many more to come.
• My love and respect grow for you with each passing year. I am truly blessed to have you as my life partner. The various ups and downs that we have faced together in life have further strengthened our bonding, love, and respect for each other. May you be blessed with the choicest blessings from dear God? There never be any sad moment in your life. You always remain happy and cheerful, this year and in years to come. Love you from the bottom of my heart.
Sweet Birthday Wishes for your Wife
• You still look so hot after all the years we have been together. I cannot imagine a more beautiful wife. Happy birthday, my love.
• I know that you do so much to take of the kids and me. Sometimes I forget to thank you. On this birthday, I hope I can show you how much you mean to me and how grateful I am that you are my wife.
• Happy Birthday, love! Your party is going to be wildly fun tonight. It will be the best party you have had yet!
• In quiet times, in funny times, in cuddle times and in all times, I cherish you. Happy Birthday to the best wife anyone could ever want.
• Birthdays come and go. But our love and respect for each other will always be rock solid. None of the forces of the universe can change it. We will still be there for each other this day and every day to come. I am truly blessed to have a person like you in my life. Happy Birthday to my love.
• To a beautiful woman and a loving wife, the light of my house may take this day, and all the days the rest of her life be showered by blessings from God. May all your wishes and desires are full filled this day and the days to come? May you always love, charming and adorable throughout your life as you always are?
• You always are a fantastic guide, you are my best friend but more than that you are a wonderful wife! Thanks for everything you are in my life! Happy birthday, dear!
• You are charming, adorable, sexy, loving; you are my everything. Stay blessed and keep smiling. Happy birthday, darling!
• You make me happy in every sense, thanks for coming into my life! Happy Birthday, honey!
• You taught me the real value of love in life. I am so lucky to have a wife like you. Happy birthday, dear!
Funny Birthday Wishes for Wife
• I know we are celebrating your 30th birthday for the 5th time, but you do not look a day over 20 if you ask me. I am one lucky guy, happy birthday.
• Nothing is hotter than an older woman. Of course, you don’t look the part, but we both know your little secret. Happy Birthday my beautiful wife!
• A good husband remembers your birthday, but not your age.
• There is nothing I want more than to spend the next 100 birthdays by your side. If that is not possible, then we might have to pull a “Notebook” because I cannot live a day without you. Happy birthday to my other half.
Short Birthday Wishes for Wife
Tips for Writing the Perfect Birthday Message for your Wife
You can express your true loving feelings for her along with a memento for the occasion. It can be anything from a simple bouquet of deep red roses, cakes, personal care items, perfumes, clothes, bags to jewellery, a surprise birthday party, dinner, exotic holidays, yacht, aeroplane……….sky is the limit. It can be a small gesture of not waking her up in the morning, making tea for her, helping in the household chores, spending quality time with her, cooking a special meal for her. Even if you do not know how to cook, you can learn some simple recipe for her. As birthday wishes for your wife, you can also leave, one by one, some of your annoying habits for good. Believe me, they are going to make her day. You can also leave for her birthday messages that can be romantic, funny, thankful, and naughty anything. They should be sincere and highlight the positive traits in her.
Browse through our unique collection of wishes and famous quotes.
Find the best messages and cards for every occasion.
Sweet Birthday Images for your Wife
Here is a list of 50 special ‘thank you for being my wife' notes and quotes to show your soulmate how much you cherish her.
#1 I loved you when I met you, then when you first smiled at me, and then when you said, “I do.” Each time, I fell deeper in love with you. Just when I think my heart is so full of love for you that it will burst, I again fall deeper, and love you even more. You are my everything, my sweetest love. Thank you for loving me.
#2 For no reason, and for all reasons, I have to thank you for being my wife. Your beauty hypnotizes me. Your intellect stuns me. Your compassion melts me. I love all of you. I want even more.
#3 You are my wife, the mother of my children, and my best friend. You radiate inner and outer beauty. You have kindness in your eyes and grace in your heart. Our years of marriage have been the best in my life. You make me the happiest husband in the world. Thank you for choosing me, my beloved.
#4 When the going got tough, you stuck with me like a guardian angel. You have shown me a pure, deep and relentless love. Thank you for being such a caring and supportive wife. You are all I need on this earth.
#5 You are like a garden fountain overflowing with warmth, with love, with passion and with charm. Day after day, being with you never satisfies my desire for more of you. I simply cannot get enough of you and fall more in love with you every day. Thank you for making me the luckiest man alive.
#6 They always say that a wife should be this or that. I don’t think it’s fair. I think you’re amazing just the way you are, and I love you for that. Thank you for being such an incredible woman.
#7 I do not always say things the right way. I do not always adequately express how I feel. I do not always communicate as I should. I do not repay you with the love and kindness you show to me. In short, I am unworthy of your love. It blows me away that you love me and stay by my side. Thank you for being there, for being my wife, for loving me. I am immeasurably grateful for you in my life.
#8 I know I can never thank you enough for the years we’ve spent together as husband and wife. Instead, I promise to spend twice that time loving you even more.
#9 You are more beautiful every time I see you. I see your face, and I see love. I see “home.” Thank you for being my wife, my family, and my best friend. You complete who I was meant to become.
#10 You have been my teammate and partner for life for as long as I can remember. You have never let me down and have always surpassed my expectations. You are the most superb, supportive and devoted wife anyone could ever ask for. Truly, thank you. You are the most stunning woman I have ever laid eyes on, and I can't be happier that you are all mine!
#11 After I met you, my life was never the same. You have made me into a better person, and I thank you for being the strong, honest woman of integrity that you are. I have learned so much from you, and it makes me love you even more. I can't imagine life on this earth with you, my one true love.
#12 My beautiful and loving wife, thank you for always unconditionally sticking by my side. You are a phenomenal best friend and a gorgeous lover, all in one! Who could ask for more? No one could ever do it like you do. Thank you so much for always being there for me, my love.
#13 No success in the world is worth it unless I can share it with you. You complete me perfectly, and I don’t know where I’d be without you. I’m forever grateful for being your husband.
#14 I thought I had my life calculated, but then you came and broke all the math. We are so much more together than a simple sum of two parts. I can never thank you enough for becoming my wife.
#15 I cannot count high enough to count all the things I love about you. When God put us together, he blessed me with a soul mate for life. And I will spend my life trying to make you the happiest wife in the world. I love you eternally. Thank you for being my wife.
#16 Thank you for a lifetime of joy that you’ve brought me. I’m so glad to share my life with you and be your husband. You’re really my everything.
#17 You ground me. You are my helping hand when I’m falling. You are my breath of air when I’m drowning. You are the most gorgeous and intelligent woman I have ever known. Thank you for choosing to be my better half for the rest of our lives, baby.
#18 Not a single day goes by that I don’t count my lucky stars to have you in my life. I’m so happy that you’re my wife that I almost envy myself. Thank you for choosing me!
#19 I still remember every word of my wedding vows, because these are the words that I want to say to you every day. I’m married to the most wonderful woman in the world. Thank you for doing me this honor.
#20 Thank you for being my strength when I need it. Thank you for giving me confidence when I have none. You’re the most supporting and caring wife, and I can never thank you enough for what you do for me.
#21 You’re my rock in the stormiest sea, and I feel I never thank you enough for being my greatest support. We can take anything together, and I’m the happiest husband by my woman’s side.
#22 From that first moment, I knew that you were my one and only soulmate. We go together like wine and cheese, and I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my days with anyone other than you. You’re so effortlessly breathtaking, my darling wife. You are my everything.
#23 They say, you never know what comes after ‘happily ever after’, but I do. You’ve made my life a fairy tale, and I’m so grateful to have such a wonderful wife.
#24 My dear, thank you for being the most supportive and caring wife and a great mother to our children. I never knew I could love someone so much until I met you.
#25 Even though you’ve been my wife for many years, seeing you smile is still my most favorite thing in the world. Thank you for brightening my life with your presence.
#26 Some days are harder than others, but I always have you to rely on. Thank you for helping me through the roughest patches. I’m grateful to you and so happy that you are my wife.
#27 I know we have an unbeatable marriage because we’re both still in love with each other. Thank you for being the most amazing woman in my life.
#28 I’m sorry if I sometimes forget to say how much I love you, but I always feel it in my heart. Meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so happy that you are my wife.
#29 You have always been my shining light. You guide me in the dark, and I would be lost without you. Thank you for never letting me down and for being the most wonderful wife anyone could ask for. I can’t wait to share all of life’s experiences with you, my queen.
#30 You are my love. You are my life. You are everything my heart wants. Thank you for saying ‘I do’ on that faithful day and making me the happiest man in the world.
#31 Home is a lot of simple things. The smell of your cooking, the sound of your laughter, or the warmth of your touch – everything counts because you’ve been my home since the day we got married. Thank you for being the most wonderful woman in my life.
#32 You’ve never asked me to treat you like a Princess, and I never have – because to me, you are my Queen. Thank you for making a King out of me, and for the many years of our marriage.
#33 You and I are like a PB&J sandwich: nothing can top that combination. We’re just not the same if we’re apart, but together it’s magic. Thank you for many magical years of being my wife.
#34 My one true love, thank you for showing me the true meaning of love. I’m so grateful for having found you, and I thank you for what an amazing wife you are.
#35 Love is a promise, a promise I’ll keep each and every day. You’re the most important woman in my life. Thank you for loving me in return.
#36 Thank you for the feeling of completeness you brought into my life. I don’t feel less when I give myself to you – I feel whole. I love you now and always will.
#37 If there’s one compliment better than “I love you,” it’s “I trust you.” Trust doesn’t automatically come from love, but love can always come from trust. I’d trust you with my life, and that’s what being married really means.
#38 Work, money, and friends may come and go, but our family can never be replaced. Thank you for building it with me. I am so lucky to have a woman like you by my side.
#39 When God put us together, He gave me the desires of my heart. I thank you for the godly woman you are, and for committing to love me forever. I promise to continue learning how to keep our romance alive and make our bond even stronger. I love you.
#40 I started falling in love with you a long time ago, and I never stopped. Thank you for still giving me butterflies in my stomach. You’re my perfect woman and a beloved wife.
The Most Famous Quotes to Include with Your Thank You Message to Your Wife
“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.”
Walter Winchell
“I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.”
Roy Croft
“A wife is the joy of a man's heart.”
The Talmud
“I love you and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
“A wife is a gift bestowed upon man to reconcile him to the loss of paradise.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.”
Harold Macmillan
“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”
J.R.R. Tolkien
“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”
Franz Schubert
“A good wife & health, is a man's best wealth.”
Benjamin Franklin
“A wife is like a children's movie; always under-appreciated and without either, life would be incomplete.”
John Steinbeck
