Naughty Christmas Greetings

12 Humorous Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing

Ahh …. It’s that time of year when we are supposed to be enjoying the season. But sometimes, the preparing, shopping, and stressing just somehow gets in the way of a good time.

To brighten your spirits and to give you a laugh when you need it the most, I’ve put together a few of my favorite humorous and funny Christmas quotes.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

1| "It’s All Fun and Games, Until Santa Pulls Out The Naughty List"

2| "This year instead of giving gifts, I will be giving everyone my opinion — Get ready for some real surprises!"

3| "Dear Santa: I’ve been good all year. OK, maybe most of the time…. Well, perhaps once in awhile… Oh, never mind, I’ll buy my own presents this year.

4|. "I just peeked at Santa’s naughty list and somehow it appears he knows my friends all too well."

5|. "Dear Santa: I don’t know if I’ve been Naughty or Nice, but if I find a pair of Stilettos under my tree, I’ll know you were right."

6|. "I’m trying to get into the Holiday Spirit, but the darn bottle won’t open."

7| "I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out I’ll drink the red."

8| "If the story was told with Three Wise Women, they would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, brought practical gifts, cleaned the stable, made dinner and there would still be time for Peace On Earth."

9|. "I’m a little bit SWEET and yet I’m a little bit TWISTED. So I guess I’m a little bit like a CANDY CANE."

11|. "When you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear."

12|. "Dear Santa: Please define Naughty. Yours Truly"

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to you and your family.



Christmas is the Christian festival celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, observed on 25th December every year. This festival is celebrated as a religious and artistic celebration among a billions number of people around the globe.

On this great day, various activities like praying, dinner party, dancing, exchanging gifts, and Christmas Wishes or quotes to take place to share enjoyment and fun. At Christmas, everyone tries to give away happiness and hope to others.

It’s that time of year when you enjoy this lovely festival with your friends and family. But the best most common way to stretch out happiness, enjoyment, and joy is to send sexy and naughty Christmas quotes with your loved one.

To fill with light your spirits and to lend you a laugh when you need it the most, we’ve put together the best naughty and sexy Christmas quotes. These naughty and Sexy Christmas quotes to express your love in a funny, sexy, and naughty way. I hope these quotes are very joyful to you.

Naughty and sexy Christmas quotes

Christmas Movie Quotes

Nightmare Before Christmas quotes

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Naughty and sexy Christmas quotes

Dear Santa… Before I explain, how much do you know already?


Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. OK, most of the time. Once in a while. F#ck it. I’ll buy my own shit.


I’d like to jingle your balls


When I think of you… I touch my elf.


Dear Santa, I was good at being naughty. Does that count?


Naughty Christmas Greetings

All I want for Christmas is you."


Dear Santa. I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty and it was worth it!


Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.


Will you trim my Christmas tree?


Can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want this year?


I checked the list twice and you’ve definitely been naughty.


A photo of you under the mistletoe and a caption that says, "All I need now is you."


Wish you were coming down the chimney tonight.


Is that a menorah or are you just happy to see me?


Is that a candy cane in your pocket or…


Here’s a picture of me so you can show Santa exactly what you want for Christmas.


I’d love to spin your dreidel.


Baby, it’s cold outside… let’s warm each other up?


You are one hot latke.


And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.


Are you Jewish? We can celebrate for eight nights.


Can you come over… and bring Santa’s little helper with you?


You light me up like a Christmas tree.


Won’t you come to jingle my bells?’


You make me scream, ‘O Holy Night.’


You didn’t make the naughty list? There’s still time.


My favorite thing about the holidays is wrapping presents… and wrapping up. #safesexx


Santa comes on Christmas Eve but why should we wait that long?


The Christmas tree won’t be the only thing with an angel on top of it this year.


Who cares if you’re on the naughty or nice list, as long as you’re on my to-do list?


I can promise you it won’t be a silent night if you come over.


I bet Santa isn’t the only one with a sack of goodies.


I’ve always wanted to see the North Pole.


Naughty Christmas Greetings

I just can’t figure out where I should hang my wreath. Any ideas?


Santa says the best toys run on batteries.


Wanna Scrooge?


Can you stuff my stocking?


Let’s be naughty together and save Santa the trip.


Want to hear my grown-up Christmas list?


I’d ride that sleigh.


Can I ride your reindeer?


I wish I was a present so I could get laid under the Christmas tree.


Christmas Movie Quotes

 "Blast this Christmas music. It’s joyful and triumphant." — How the Grinch Stole Christmas

 "It was an ugly tree anyway." — National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

 "I didn’t come here to make an impression on anybody, I just came here to blow every last cent I had." — Last Holiday

 "You did it! Congratulations! ‘World’s Best Cup of Coffee.’ Great job, everybody." — Elf

 "The secret of life is butter." — Last Holiday

 "That’s all part of the experience, honey." — National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

 "Who are you, and what are you doing in my palace?" — A Christmas Prince

 "It’s just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture." — Elf

 "I need some peace and quiet…or whatever it is people go away for." — The Holiday

 "Some people are worth melting for. Just maybe not right this second." — Frozen

 "Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale." — Home Alone

 "Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?" — The Santa Clause

 

 "Happy birthday!" — Frosty the Snowman

 "We’ve been given our parts in the nativity play. And I’m the lobster." — Love Actually

 "Thanks, but I’m seeing someone in wrapping." — The Santa Clause

 "Santa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?" — Home Alone

 "Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn’t allow it." — How the Grinch Stole Christmas

 "Well, like I said, Most Interesting Girl Award." — The Holiday

 "Oh, I love it. It’s so cute. It like a little baby unicorn." — Frozen

 "HELP ME.. I’m feeling!" — How the Grinch Stole Christmas

 "What happened to the hickory honey ham?" — Christmas with the Kranks

 "He loves the snow. He’s told me 15 times." — Elf

Naughty Christmas Greetings

 "Whoa, you really don’t know anything about love, do you?" — Frozen

 "I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite." — Elf

 "We’re your worst nightmare. Elves with attitude." — The Santa Clause

Nightmare Before Christmas quotes

"J "No animal or man can scream like I can." — Jack Skellington

"What’s this? What’s this?" — Jack Skellington

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" — Oogie Boogie

"I might just spit a seam now if I don’t die laughing first!" — Oogie Boogie

"The worst is just around the bend." — Sally

"Nothing’s more suspicious than frog’s breath!" — Dr. Finkelstein

"I had the most terrible vision." — Sally

"But it seems wrong to me. Very wrong." — Sally

"I sense there’s something in the wind. That feels like tragedy’s at hand." — Sally

"Since I am dead I can take off my head to recite Shakespearean quotations." — Jack Skellington

"Did anyone think to dredge the lake?" — Mayor

"You’re jokin’, you’re jokin’! I can’t believe my ears! Would someone shut this fella up? I’m drowning in my tears!" — Oogie Boogie

"Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King." — Corpses

"This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Pumpkins scream in the dead of night." — Pumpkins

"I am the ‘who’ when you call, ‘Who’s there?'" — Ghoul

"Life’s no fun without a good scare." — Child Trio

"Oh, there’s an empty place in my bones, that calls out for something unknown." — Jack Skellington

ust because I cannot see it, doesn’t mean I can’t believe it!" — Jack Skellington

"For it is plain, as anyone can see. We’re simply meant to be." — Jack and Sally

"There’s only 365 days left until next Halloween!" — The Mayor

"I am the shadow on the moon at night, filling your dreams to the brim with fright." — Oogie Boogie

"I’m a master of fright, and a demon of light, and I’ll scare you right out of your pants." — Jack Skellington

"I am the Pumpkin King." — Jack Skellington

"Come with us and you will see, this, our town of Halloween" — Shadows

Naughty Christmas Greetings

"I tromped through the pumpkin patch." — Mr. Hyde

"Say it once, say it twice, take a chance and roll the dice. Ride with the moon in the dead of night." — Witches

"That’s twice this month you’ve slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off." — Dr. Finkelstein

"Nice work, Bone Daddy!" — Sax Player

"This is Halloween, everybody make a scene." — Ghosts

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Outlined below are sexy quotes for your boyfriend.

Your lips are like honey and your hugs are warmer than the blanket.

Your kisses are like wine, I want to get drunk. I want to feel your scent, taste, and skin tonight and each night we are together.

My ideal body weight is yours on mine, you are my dream.

I love the way you explore my body using your hands and the way you call me your girl.

Butterflies in the stomach? I don’t feel them because when you kiss me, I feel the whole zoo in my body.

I love everything about you. The only thing, which bothers me, is your clothes. Take it off.

The way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way you tease me drives me crazy.

I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re at home in your bed and I am alone in my bed.

One of us is in the wrong place. When I look into your eyes, I feel euphoria, but when you kiss my neck, I taste the paradise.

I’ve always been a modest girl, but when I see you, I want to do bad things with you.

Leave love notes all over your bite marks are the signs I want to get.

It’s been a long day… All I need is your hugs, which you’ll give me in our bed.

I love all facets of your personality, but I should admit that your wild side is my favorite.

We are an ideal couple: a real gentleman and his nasty girl! Thanks for loving me unconditionally.

All I can think about when we are together is about your body on mine.



Some of these sexy texts for Christmas time may make your cheeks as red as Rudolph's nose but they are sure to jingle his bells.

Sexy Christmas Texts

You are my candy cane all year round. Sweet and hard.

Christmas is coming and soon you will be too.

I love your package.

All I want for Christmas is you…naked.

I'd like to lick your candy cane stick.

Let's be naughty tonight and save Santa a trip.

Naughty Christmas Greetings

I'd like to jingle your bells and make it a white Christmas this year.

Can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want what I really really want this year?

Snap a pic of you with mistletoe and a text saying “All I need is you.”

I wish you were coming down my chimney tonight.

I'm sending you this picture of me so you can show Santa exactly what you want this year.

Baby, it's cold outside…let's warm each other up tonight.

I know Santa comes on Christmas Eve but you're coming tonight.

Naughty or nice you are always on my to-do list.

I want you to stuff my stocking.

I want to be a Christmas present so I can get laid under the tree.

We are like hot cocoa and marshmallows. You're hot and I want to be on top of you.

I like you how I like my Christmas trees. Erect.

Looks like the roads aren't the only thing getting plowed tonight.

You can roast your chestnuts on my open fire.

Tonight I'm going to ride you like a reindeer.

Hey honey, your special present is waiting inside my box.

Premiering tonight, “Miracle on (Your Name) Street”.

Let's go walking in an orgasm wonderland.

Tis' the season to be horny. What say you?

Let's scrooge.

Cum, you made me. Parum pum pum pum.

Hang your stocking in my chimney with care.

Back it up Santa and sleigh me tonight.

The following sexy Christmas quotes are courtesy of holiday and Christmas songs. PS: Consider adding the songs to your playlist this holiday season.

• Hang up your pretty stockings and turn off the light/Santa Claus is comin' down your chimney tonight. – Elvis Presley, Santa Claus is Back in Town

• I'll slide down your chimney/And bring you lots of joy/What I got for you/It ain't just a toy. – Rufus Thomas, I'll Be Your Santa, Baby

• I've got some presents for Santa/And he's got a big one for me/Outside, it snows/I take off all my clothes/And wait for Santa underneath my tree. – Sarah Taylor and Bill Mumy, I've Got Some Presents for Santa Claus

• I ain't like the old Saint Nick/He don't come but once a year. – Clarence Carter, Back Door Santa

• Wanna get some Christmas inside of you? – Steel Panther, Sexy Santa

For more sexy texts without a Christmas theme check these out:



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